Before i Forget : Simon Jones's blog

December 1998

Meanwhile articleTuesday, December 15th, 1998, (11:14 pm)

Meanwhile : Articles written by Simon Jones

Somewhere around here I had made some notes about what I wanted to write about this week. However, this flat seems to be getting smaller and smaller everyday, and the smaller it gets the more crowded it gets meaning I can’t seem to find a bloody thing! I swear I wrote it on this note pad here? Ah well, I guess I’ll just have to wing it and hope I can remember at least some of what I was going to say.

So here we are in the grips of another festive season, the traffic to get into Birkenhell was backed up way past my front door today long before 9am! No doubt full of Christmas shoppers all waiting to depart with their hard earned cash to buy the ‘perfect gift’ (which I seem to remember was a token to the Salem dollar theatre if I am to believe the ad I saw before a movie I watched there. What cheapskate gets someone a token to a dollar theatre?).

As yet I have not bought a thing, well I guess I did get my Dad a couple of things in Chelmsford Massachusetts, but that doesn’t really count as Christmas shopping kuz I got them ages ago. I intend to go over to Liverpool later today and do some ‘shopping’ in the dreaded seasonal scrum. I shall join the scally’s, prams, stressed out shoppers and security guards wishing they had the brains to be Police men. Oh what fun!

I actually read a report last week that suggested men on the whole don’t do any Christmas shopping until the last three days before Christmas! So hey, I guess I am getting it in early this year! Funny thing was that the report also said that the average British man experienced massive stress level increases while Christmas shopping. The report said and I quote… [Click here to continue reading this article at ‘Meanwhile’]

Meanwhile articleMonday, December 7th, 1998, (9:16 pm)

Meanwhile : Articles written by Simon Jones

It’s nearly Christmas, and yes it’s a terrible cliche, but it seems like Christmas and the New Year wasn’t really that long ago. It’s worth noting that January being next month means that it isn’t that long until my Birthday either! Worth noting for me that is because I’ll be 28 years old next month. 28!

Thing is though, I always thought that 28 would seem older, and that when I reached that age I’d be going bald and driving a ford escort with a baby seat and wife. Mind you I guess that’s what I though ten years ago. But now I am just days away from that age, the trappings that I expected to come ‘in later life’ are still expected… ‘in later life’. Later meaning some time far away from now!

I think perhaps I am gearing up for a pre-emptive mid life crisis. I am soon to be dangerously close to 30 and I still feel about 21, indeed I still act like I am some care free 21 year old.

Ah panic! I am in denial of my responsibilities, my age, my desire for a hot cup of cocoa and a pair of slippers! However, try as I may to avoid them, the signs that 30 is creeping up on me are beginning to manifest themselves.

Only this week I had a terrible dream. I was in Chester doing some music buying when I spied the latest CD from Phil Collins called ‘Hits’. For those of you who have already succumbed to curse of age and the language difficulties that brings, means a collection of Phil Collins’ ‘greatest hits’.

Anyway, I saw this CD on the stand and though “Cool, a Phil Collins compilation.” I picked it up and read the track listing. It had all the greats on it ‘Sussudeo’, ‘Easy lover’, ‘Mama’, ‘Another day in Paradise’ etc. And at just under £13 I though it was a bargain. Pleased with my choice and feeling keen to get this CD in my player at home, I made my way to the counter.

As the clerk scanned the barcode for the price loads of alarms started sounding and lights in the shop started flashing. I was stunned, confused and nearly deafened from the bedlam around me. The clerk was shouting at someone to kill the alarm and eventually it was silenced. The shop came to order and normality returned once more.

I asked the clerk what the alarm was for and he looked right back at me and said “Sorry sir, it’s just that you bought a middle aged CD.”… [Click here to continue reading this article at ‘Meanwhile’]