Meanwhile : Articles written by Simon Jones

How come the only menu options in coach on any aircraft seems to be chicken or beef? I am assuming that the airlines have spend vast sums of money in researching how to keep the in-flight food costs down and therefore also in the dietary likes and dislikes of the coach class masses. Perhaps when you get down the bare bones of the situation we can all be categorized into three main groups. Vegetarian, Chicken or Beef.

I’m a breast man myself, though chicken legs are pretty good too. But you know, come to think of it beef is okay too. While I am sitting in the plane on the ground I usually decide if today is a chicken or a beef day. But when they come around mid-flight and ask me “Chicken or beef sir?” I have those few moments of pressured indecision as if on a TV game show before I end up choosing the chicken, as ever.

Of course when the said ‘chicken’ arrives it doesn’t resemble anything that looks remotely like chicken back on terra firma. It’s been processed into that microscopic square pink thing that is ‘served’ with nasty vegetables, a ‘salad’, some kind of a cookie that has a fancy name and a fruit cake desert that looks like a bio health hazard. All of this is dished up on a tray just that is just big enough to make balancing it and your drink on the seat back tray table seem like an aptitude test.

So now you’re sitting there trying to somehow eat the micro meal, drink your drink, watch the in-flight movie and be comfortable. It is of course impossible, you’re in coach for goodness sake. You sit there fighting for space on the arm rest you share with the person next to you who is if your extremely unlucky, a huge fat person with no personality, charm or manners.

The movie will be something suitable for all audiences. It’s the kind of movie you would be able to sit and watch with your Mom, except of course… [Click here to continue reading this article at ‘Meanwhile’]