NOTE: This was my first ever post on my Xanga.com blog which was my default blogging platform for Sept 04 to April 06. Xanga posts, as well as old Meanwhile articles, were imported to this blog after its creation in April 2006. In many respects this was actually my first ever real blog post.
I never ever update tmy Xanga blog. I only created it so I could write something on the blog of my friend Erin, but that’s where I am going to leave the mentioning of Erin in relation to big boobs. That’s not to say she doesn’t have big boobs, but in the interest of our continued long distance friendship, I feel that to mention Erin’s actual boobage on this here web page, may somewhat damage our relationship that has taken years and years of hard work and long distance phone calling to build up.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I was just saying how I never update this page wasn’t I. Well that’s true, you see quite apart from the fact that I am a busy chap don’t you know, I also have my own website that has thus far rendered the use of this blogging service somewhat useless.
However, today while once again perusing Erin’s rather slow moving blog, I decided that I would write just the briefest of entries here so as to allow anyone who may happen upon this place to know that I am alive and well and gloriously happy with life.
But then it struck me that I had nothing to say. I was, though only for a moment, at a loss as to what to write. Then I just thought that I should write about the very next thought I had… which happened to be ‘Big boobs’. So now I have the unenviable task of having to find a way of writing something funny and intelligent about big boobs.
The problem is, while big boobs are at the forefront of my thought processes, the task of thinking becomes somewhat more difficult, and the possibility of getting a succession of sentences that actually make any sense is looking remote.
Big boobs… hmmm. [Stares without focus at the screen lost in a minds eye visual festival of
flesh and silicon.]
Hmmm, boobs… [Several moments pass, all brain activity is numbed into submission as boobs emerge from all corners of the brain]
Boobs… [Hours can be lost in life thinking of boobs, men surely have car accidents not because they fell asleep, but because they simply went into a trance of breastage.]
Okay, this isn’t getting us anywhere. I need to say something witty and clever. I need to do that thing that all men try so hard to do… not look so much like a shallow sexually driven neanderthal being. I need to come across as one of those ‘new men’ that understand women, you know the type. Some GAP wearing modern man who lets his wife drive the car and doesn’t hog the TV remote control.
For research reasons I was able to justify typing the words ‘Big Boobs’ into Google. But then come on, I am a guy living alone, I don’t need to justify this kind of research to anyone. I can research this whenever the fancy takes me! But that’s perhaps an image that we don’t need to have in our minds, so lets get back to the subject.
Googles first offering is:
“Lana’s Big Boobs – Free Quality Pics Of Big Tits And Big Boob …
… FREE Big Boobs Video Clip and video site Membership!! Mature big boobs redhesd rides red dildo!!”
Okay, now I consider myself a man of the world and I like to think that I know a thing or two about the stuff people don’t talk about in Church, but I have to admit I have no idea what a “redhesd” is?
I should click the link to find out. After all if I don’t there may come a time in my life when I need a “redhesd” and I lose out on an amazing sexual experience because I am innocent of the facts.
Clicking the link only deepens my worry that I may be getting unwittingly revirginized as I am told that the page is “Forbidden.” Somehow I don’t have permission to access it, so I shall forever be in the dark as to what a “redhesd” is.
Fortunately link number two quickly leads me into the filthy world of internet porn, or ‘pron’ as it is referred to in geekdom. Suddenly I am faced with every shade of bare skin known to man. There are boobs everywhere, and staying focused is like trying not to slip into a coma.
I click a few links, then a few more. Then suddenly without warning about ten browser windows open up in quick succession. Hang on, I never wanted these. I click the close button and ten more windows appear. I frantically close the newly opened windows, but as quickly as I close one window, ten more open in it’s place.
I now have about 850 browser windows open and approximately 25,000 pairs of boobs ranging from big to ridiculous all over my screen. But the situation is getting desperate as more windows are spawning now in the background and foreground simultaneously.
The thing is though, with every new pair of boobs appearing at a rate that men could only dream of before the internet, I still don’t grow tired of them. How is that possible? How come that most men simply never get bored of boobs? Cleavage is great too. In the absence of the possibility of actually seeing bare boobs, a cleavage, no matter how small, is also a wonderful thing. What’s up with that?
In conclusion I suppose there really is nothing intelligent or remarkable that I can say about big boobs. Us men are the moths and they are the light-bulbs. So in the words of the almighty… Let there be light!