I’m going to have cosmetic surgery! Actually to be more accurate I have to have cosmetic dental surgery, and I can’t say I’m thrilled about it.

Basically I had a long standing problem with one of my front teeth that was the result of a bike accident years ago. The tooth was broken at the root but this was not obvious from looking at it. After a few years it was decided to remove it and replace it with a crown. That procedure alone made me feel like I was falling apart I can tell you! But the crown didn’t look any different to my old tooth so it was all good.

That was until last year when the crown started to fail. After a few trips to the dentist to have it re-secured it was decided that I needed to have a dental implant, which as you can see in the gruesome illustration (on the right) involves screwing bits of carbon fibre into my jaw!

I’ve been putting this off for ages but today I had the preliminary stuff done in preparation for the surgery which will probably be done at the start of the new year. We have national healthcare over here so the crown and all the work relating to that only cost me $150, but unfortunately, would you believe, the upper four front teeth are not covered under the national dental-care, and even if they were implants are not covered. So this work is going to be 100% funded by me, and it’s set to cost $3500!!!

I can’t say I am excited about anything to do with this really, not the surgery nor the prospect of handing over such a whopper amount of money. But this is one of those things that has to be done. The silver lining in all of this is that the rest of my teeth are in superb condition according to my dentist. I’ve never had a filling or anything. Just typical that the first time something goes wrong with my teeth it would happen to be the most expensive thing possible. Ah well.

Is the surgery going to hurt? According to my dentist, who has his practice next door, it will be completely painless. They have a LCD screen mounted on the surgery room ceiling so patients can watch DVD’s while having treatments that take a long time such as this! Watching a movie while having stuff drilled into my head isn’t something that I can honestly get that excited about though, despite my dentists enthusiasm.

In a recent IM chat I had with Beth from Alabama I realised that a lot of you think that I live in London. So I just wanted to help set the record straight and give you all a better idea of where the heck I am in relation to a map of England. This way if ever you see a map of England you’ll be able to point at the right spot and say “I know someone who lives right there.”

First off, I do not live in London. It might be a great city and all that, but I don’t live there, never have lived there and never want to live there. I don’t mind big cities, but mega big cities that sprawl on and on just make me feel a little penned in. London feels in many ways just like New York City or Paris, though of course they all have their own characteristics and charm.

I live on a small peninsula of land that just out into the Irish Sea between England and Wales. The peninsula is called Wirral and on one side (it’s only 12 miles wide at the widest part) overlooks the busy port city of Liverpool and the River Mersey, and on the other side it looks over the River Dee, the rolling hills of North Wales and the often snow capped Snowdonia mountain range. Within 15 minutes of my house I can be in the city (Liverpool) or in Wales.

According to multimap London is 205.8 miles away from where I live and it will take me nearly four hours to get there if I left now (3:50pm).

From the map (on the right) you can see where Wirral is in relation to London, and while I appreciate 200 miles isn’t a long distance for an American, it’s a bloody long way for a Brit. Especially when you’re faced with having to drive on Britian’s three busiest motorways (interstate highways), the M6, M1 and M25.

I was actually born in Essex, a county (similar to a state) just north east of London. As a kid my friends and I would jump on the commuter rail to London and go shopping and goofing around in the ever cool markets of Camden Town and South Kensington High Street and Kings Road. I was in London for three of the IRA’s worst bomb attacks, most notably the one where they exploded two bombs within 2 hours of each other in Hyde Park and Regents Park killing eight soldiers on ceremonial duty and several horses.

On another occasion I was enjoying a Sunday afternoon tea (that sounds so English!) with a girlfriend and her family in their garden in London when we were all silenced by a deep boom sound. Moments later we saw a huge plume of smoke emanating from the docklands area of the city. This was before the days of 24 hour news networks, but the cricket game on the TV that we were paying passing interest in was soon interrupted by a news-flash that a huge bomb had exploded in the city. It later transpired that this was the biggest bomb to explode in Britain since the second world war.

Liverpool doesn’t attract anywhere near the same kind of attention from terrorists, though this wasn’t a factor in my choosing to move ‘up north.’ In all honesty the bombings never crossed my mind and have never made me alter my behaviour in any way. Though while working in a gallery in Liverpool we had occasion to call the police because of a briefcase that was left in the gallery. Taking no chances the police evacuated a large part of the city then carried out what they called a controlled explosion on the briefcase using clever remote controlled robots.

Unfortunately as controlled as the explosion was it blew most of the galleries work to pieces! What made it worse was that a little while later the gallery was called by a man who wondered if he had by chance left his briefcase behind. He said it was “No big deal” if it had been stolen as it really only had his packed lunch inside it!

So I hope that clears up the confusion that some of you seem to have with regards to where I live. I know that it’s not really a big deal but I always think it is mildly amusing that most Americans seem to assume that I am from London, why I have no idea. But now you’re all clued up.

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About the Wirral
Google interactive map of the UK
IRA bomb London parks
IRA bomb London docklands
History of London bombs
London’s explosive history
The Discreet Charm of the Terrorist Cause (Interesting article)

At long last there is now a cure for those sleepless nights we’ve all been having worrying about whether or not our hair is shiny enough! I just saw on a commercial on TV for Loreal Elvive shampoo that now uses “light reflecting technology” to give your hair “new shine”. So rest easy!

Clearly these kind of ads must work, but on who? Loreal claim that their scientists have discovered “an innovative new formula” that uses “pearl protein” that enables their ‘Nutri-Gloss’ to give “targeted nutrition to the hair fibre, balancing it from root to tip.” In fact they are so pleased with this they tell us that using this will be “a true sensory experience”. I mean, are we still talking about shampoo here? Isn’t that a question of just washing your hair in some nice smelling bubbles.

Of course other hair products offer similar ground breaking technology and experiences. I can’t remember the brands (so much for the ads then) but there was ‘Active ceramide’ which sounds like something that might be used on blocked sewage pipes if you as me.

Loreal also hailed the arrival of ‘Regenuim XY’ which was its patented new science bit that showed guys how using this overpriced shampoo would actually make their lost hair return – and more than that it would lead to admiring looks form impossibly white teethed girls who walk everywhere in slow motion! A hair product to get you laid – woohoo!

Clearly the commercials work, but is there any real science behind all these new hair breakthrough formulas? I mean Pearl protein? What the heck!?

Just thought I’d wish all my American friends a Happy Thanksgiving. We don’t do this holiday in the UK, in fact as far as I know it is exclusively an American thing, but that doesn’t exclude me from passing on my good wishes to you all.

I’m not really sure what it’s all about to be honest, and Thanksgiving is the only holiday I haven’t spent in America. It always seems like it would be a fun one though, I nearly went to New Hampshire for it one year, that would have been great, but I passed on it to spend Christmas there instead and I have to say that was the most magical Christmas ever.

The classic John Hughes film ‘Planes Trains and Automobiles‘ was set at this time of year I believe. That is just such a funny film. I think I’ll watch that again tonight. In fact I have a friend coming over for Pizza later but I’m feeling all festive now so I think I’ll upgrade dinner into something that resembles a more ‘Thanksgiving’ style feast. But if I’m going to do that I need to go to the shops right now and get the stuff.

Have a great day everyone!

I finally got around to watching Morgan Spurlock’s movie ‘Supersize me’. I have to say it was a really educational and entertaining film.

Ordinarily I watch documentary films with a somewhat cynical eye, but this didn’t feel at all like it was pushing some hidden agenda. I won’t even watch a Michael Moore films because I think that guy misrepresents things to such a degree that pretty much anything he says can’t be trusted. Ironically he’s put himself in the same position as the man he seems to hate so much [Bush].

The UK DVD of Supersize me had some cool extras too (gotta love DVD extras). One that made me laugh out loud was ‘The smoking fry‘ where he puts a selection of McDonalds food in jars to see how it breaks down over time. The results are interesting and a little concerning too.

I know just about everyone has seen this movie a long time back, but if you haven’t then seriously, I recommend you do. It’s funny and like I say, it has an interesting message too.

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Supersize me
The smoking fry (Updated)

Following a disturbing report on EuroNews that showed civilian Iraqi’s with their skin mysteriously burned off, the United States Army has changed their story on whether or not they used white phosphorus during last year’s offensive in the northern Iraqi city of Falluja.

Originally the US Army vehemently denied that it ever used the hideous and indiscriminate weapon which some have described as a chemical weapon. However a spokesman for the US army was quick to point out that the United States did not sign the UN accord that banned the use of chemical weapons like white phosphorus.

When asked why the US army had previously denied that it had used white phosphorus Col Venable said that the previous statement was based on “poor information”. He also defended its use stating that Washington had never signed any accord banning the use of such a weapon and furthermore the weapon was not used primarily to kill but rather as “obscurants, for smokescreens or target marking in some cases”.

According to the BBC new website white phosphorus is highly flammable and ignites on contact with oxygen. If the substance hits someone’s body, it will burn until deprived of oxygen.

Recent pictures in the press of Iraqi civilians, including very young children, with their flesh burned off have angered many an lead to hard questions being put to the US military who now claim they did not lie but simply made a mistake with “poor information.”

Italian RAI24 news aired a documentary last week that said the US Army used white phosphorous in a “massive and indiscriminate way” during the Falluja offensive, and furthermore did so in a way that could not and did not avoid civilian casualties. The documentary quoted ex-marine Jeff Englehart as saying he saw the bodies of burned children and women after the bombardments. “Burned bodies. Burned children and burned women. White phosphorous kills indiscriminately. It’s a cloud that, within … 150 metres of impact, will disperse and will burn every human being or animal.”

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Italian TV report on US use of chemical weapons
US U-turn on Iraq ‘chemical’ weapon use
Aljazeera take on the news
GlobalSecurity.org reports
White phosphorus: weapon on the edge