I’ve had an interesting week. My trusty G4 iMac developed a very odd problem on Sunday evening that meant I couldn’t use the machine properly. I spent the best part of two days trying to fix it and work ‘as normal’ on my little PowerBook laptop.

I only ended up solving the problem today! Not good because that trashed most of my working week, and I am heading south tomorrow afternoon so it’s not really a work day and I won’t be back at work till probably late Monday or maybe even Tuesday.

The problem made me look at buying a new iMac in a hurry so as to get back up and running quickly. There looked like a few bargains to be had, but in the end the bargain iMacs on offer weren’t really that much cheaper than the newer ones available today. I was going to get one after Christmas, but maybe I’ll bring that forward a few months and get one next week. A 20″ all singing all dancing iMac. It’ll be nice to have a slightly bigger screen. But heck, I feel bad spending all that money. Still, it’s not me buying it really. It’s my company, and it is a need, but nonetheless I feel a little bad.

Am I the only person who feels a pang of guilt when I blow a small fortune on something like this? It’s going to be an expensive week too because I am going to buy a flight to the west coast of America for the holidays too.

This is going to sound very strange coming from me, but the other day I was listening to a sermon called ‘What to do if you’re rich (and you ARE rich).’ The sermon was preached by a guy called Brian Howard from the Copperhill Community Church in Valencia, California. I’ve been to that church a few time, my friend Josh makes me go, he says I have to “to honor his hospitality” and if you knew Josh you’d know there really isn’t any way you can get out of Church on Sunday morning. I’ve tried it all, illness, yard work, even offering to babysit their two young kids.

Anyway, Josh gave me a small pile of CD’s this summer and told me they would be my ‘homework.’ I of course didn’t do anything with them. But then one day I decided to put them on my iPod (yes I have one of those too – I already feel bad don’t worry) just in case I should ever get bored of the 38 days of non stop music I have on the little thing. I really had no intention of ever listening to them, but then the other day I found myself on a two hour drive and bored of my music, so I thought I’d listen to Brian.

Most of the time I have an overwhelming urge to thump preachers, but Brian doesn’t annoy me that much and I like the people at that Church, so it didn’t seem so bad selecting him on the iPod. Anyway, it wasn’t the best sermon in the world ever. the usual stuff you’d expect from a preacher. But it did make me think once again about how amazingly wealthy we are, and how we fill our lives with just about anything to distract and amuse us, if only for a short while.

I have a nice little (very little actually) apartment, full of Ikea stuff. I have a sports convertible outside, an expensive laptop, the top of the range iPod, an iMac, DVD player, swishy TV, high speed internet access, wifi, cool cameras and video stuff and all sorts of other things. I’ve got all this stuff, and it disgusts me when I think about how much this has all cost, about how much money I have spent on myself as opposed to how much money I give away, or even how much time I give away.

In short, I don’t do enough. People are dying in the world of diseases that we’d take a pill and be cured of ready to get back to work the next day. As much as I could do it still feels like it wouldn’t be enough. That makes me feel bad. some people say we’re lucky to live where we do be that Europe or the US. But in reality the one opinion I formed in India among the rural poor people I met was that as rich as we are we are poorer for it. We have all this stuff, but we’ve utterly lost our way. I don’t know the name of my next door neighbor and his house is actually attached to mine! I’ve lived here over 5 years!!

This is a directionless pointless post. I have no idea what I am saying or what the heck my point is.

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Copperhill Community Church