Where the hell do last years unwritten Christmas cards go? You put them away for safe keeping, fully planning to use them this year but now they’ve just disappeared!
Like most people, at Christmas time get a selection box of Christmas cards to send and I usually end up with a few leftover ones. Ordinarily these are the ‘rejects’ of the selection, or worse still the ones that feature religious scenes that represent Mary, Joseph, and the three kings as blue eyed white folk looking down upon the newborn Jesus who curiously appears to have a glowing head.
Nonetheless, last years rejects would come in handy to send to this years B and C list friends. But despite the fact that I put them in a safe place that I was sure to remember, come Christmas time I can’t find the damn things anywhere.
I scour my apartment like a cop in a drugs raid, but it’s a fruitless effort, the bounty is nowhere to be found. So I buy another selection of cards and just as last year I have a few leftovers which I put in a safe place.
While looking for a suitable place to store this years leftover cards what do I come across… last years leftover cards! Cursing I collect the cards together flicking through last years wondering why it is that anyone would make such bloody awful Christmas cards. Somewhere an artist turns in his grave at the thought that his carefully crafted picture of the angel Gabriel appearing to the shepherds has now been reduced to a cheap Christmas card that nobody wants to send.
After storing them away safely for next year I stand there for a moment and address myself in my mind with my sternest voice. “Simon. Remember this! This is where you have stored those bloody awful Christmas cards you can palm off on your B and C list buddies next year… Remember this place!”
Okay, job’s done. They’re at the bottom of this draw over here and there’s no way that I can possibly forget this when Christmas comes around again, no way at all.
A year later, and guess what I’m doing…
Wrote the following comment on Dec 13, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Simon,
You’re not supposed to admit that you have B and C list Christmas card recipients. Now everyone that gets a card from you will wonder how they rank.
Wrote the following comment on Dec 13, 2006 at 3:46 pm
More to the point the people who don’t get cards will figure they’re D list! LOL!!
The truth is I rarely send cards because I am actually too lazy to do so. I’d make up a reason about it being charitable to give the money I would spend on cards to something like Oxfam, but that would be BS. If you get a card it’ll be because I had one handy and you were close by, or because you sent me one and I felt obliged to return the gesture.
My fondness for people cannot be calculated by the card I may or may not have sent them. Though mentioning B and C list recipients in the post might well resinate with those who read it and therefore raise a smile, or at least that was my hope :-)
Wrote the following comment on Dec 13, 2006 at 10:03 pm
geez you need a woman in your life…to help organize of course. Put your left over cards in the box of Christmas Decorations. As for the B and C recipients….everyone has them! Its those people who give you a card like say @ work….you feel obligated to so voila! B card pile. C card pile??? I would definetly define those people as the neighbors you really cant stand that bring over some disgusting calorie infested cake on Christmas Eve…”Wait, just a second” as you leave them in the doorway…run to the handy dandy junk drawer in the kitchen…fill out a card from the C pile. I must sound really evil huh?
Wrote the following comment on Dec 13, 2006 at 10:40 pm
Had a woman from xangaland ask me recently “Simon’s straight?”. “Oh my God, yes!” I replied. “Then who is that friend of his in his profile pic? I thought it was his lover.” she said. To which I replied, “Oh that’s George W. Bush. They’re friends from way back.”
Wrote the following comment on Dec 13, 2006 at 11:25 pm
well at least a year from now you can read this post and it will hopelfully jog your memory.
p.s. the tea worked wonders.
Wrote the following comment on Dec 14, 2006 at 5:18 am
I always find the Christmas cards from the previous year after I have bought replacements…I do not know why it works that way every year. I haven’t sent any out yet this year…laziness I guess.
Wrote the following comment on Dec 14, 2006 at 3:30 pm
hahaha! yeah i’ve frequently thought about reusing my christmas cards (sad because I’m a girl and girls should never do something like this…), or other cards people dont write in… BUT then I never get going on it and no one gets a card. I think I gave out christmas cards one year…
so what to do with unused christmas cards? you can use them for decoration! my mom puts them on her door posts.. and around the house. Gives it a christmasy feel… BUT its not the most guy-like thing to do, so… the sock drawer works nicely as well.
Wrote the following comment on Dec 14, 2006 at 5:18 pm
Christmas cards is the least of our concerns anymore, although I can relate totally to your dilema. We now misplace the ornaments, the wood “Rudolph” dad made, the card holder, the “working” string of lights for the tree, etc.
As my mom says, “Of all the things I’ve lost in my life, I miss my mind the most.”
Wrote the following comment on Dec 14, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Yeah, me and George, we’re buddies! :-)
As for what to do with the Christmas cards after Christmas, that’s a good idea for a future post I think. I’ll look into it. I generally think cards are a waste of time. Birthday cards are fair enough, but the rest, I dunno.
And Rachel, if you saw my apartment you’d be dissapointed. One dinky little plastic tree. One of these years I’ll do something special to the place for the holidays :-)
Wrote the following comment on Dec 15, 2006 at 7:34 am
Simon, its called Christmas, not the holidays. I find it odd that in a Country with so many lunatic Christians they don’t call it Christmas.
Wrote the following comment on Dec 15, 2006 at 10:35 am
Will, it’s also called Hanukkah so a number of people. But I referred to the holidays because Christmas is a holiday, as is new year.