It’s hard to know how to follow a post about four decades of naked ladies and 76 blowjobs, but I think I have found the perfect follow-up. Doggie style the swiss way.

This is the ‘Doggie Bag‘, Für Reisende Hunde und Deren Halter. I have no idea what that last bit means, but I’m guessing it some catchy tag line that essentially says something about how this hideous thing is a ‘must have’ for all dog owners.

I’d be curious to know who on earth would buy such a thing, and more curious to know how the dogs that get carried in these style violations feel about it with their legs all akimbo. Surely only a person who is utterly detached from even the concept of good taste would purchase one of these?

I’m not a dog owner and not much of a ‘doggy person’ myself, so it might be that this swiss designed doggie bag answers a very real need within the dog owning community, but I’m guessing that anyone who loves their pooch would be alarmed at seeing it carried around like a laptop bag.

The dodgy ‘Doggie bag’ is an outright fashion and style violation worthy of some kind of citation and maybe even jail time for crimes against good taste, not to mention animals. But somewhere out there someone is looking at that now thinking what a great and handy idea the ‘Doggie bag’ is.

Whomever that is will probably also love the ‘Smitten mitten‘, a ridiculous double holed mitten that enables lovers to hold hands while sharing the same mitten as they walk along in the cold weather, presumably carrying their matching dogs in their Doggie bags with their free hand.

Makers of the ‘Smitten’ based in Provo, Utah, offer a package that including 2 hats, 2 scarves, a ‘Smitten’, and a pair of stretchy gloves. The companies website even has photographic suggestions of positions smitten couples might wish to try while wearing the fleece ‘smitten mitten.’ The site reads “Going on a first date….why not take along a Hand Huggerâ„¢, who knows….Wouldn’t grandma and grandpa look cute using them on their walks….. The possibilities are endless.”

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Doggie Bag
Smitten mitten