If you live in England there is almost no chance that you have escaped World Cup mania that has swept the nation. England flags have been appearing everywhere in some truly cringe-worthy displays of national pride that almost make me want to grab a can of cheap beer and launch into a chorus of the national football chant “In-ger-lund!!!!”

I’m not at all into football. I might be if the game didn’t seem to attract such large numbers of ‘bevied up’ louts who gather in large numbers and often end up causing all kinds of agro.

I like seeing all the England flags everywhere, it’s nice to see a bit of national pride. But I can’t help but notice, and this is a dangerously un-pc thing to write, that it seems the poorer the household the more England flags they seem to fly. Drive through any low cost housing area (I didn’t say crappy council estate) and you’ll see house after house bathed in ‘In-ger-land’ flags.

The same can be said of cars. Lots of people in England are flying England flags on their cars. I’ve no problem with that at all, I just find it mildly amusing that the crapper the car the more flags it has. The other day I saw a white van that had a flag-pole with an England flag that was so big it couldn’t pass under a bridge!

I suppose the people who enjoy dressing up their homes in vast numbers of England flags are the same people who cover their homes in a million fairy lights at Christmas and having fairy light nodding reindeer on their front yards.

Believe it or not, decorating your home with flags is actually against the law in many parts of England. The law actually only allows one flag, with no advertising, flying from a single mast. Peterborough City Council has recently reminded residents of the law and stated that they will tolerate flags until the competition is over at which point the flags must then be removed.

All the flags will disappear soon enough though. England are sure to be knocked out in the quarter finals like we always are. That’ll probably be a good enough reason for drunk England fans to go on the rampage in towns across the country as well as in Germany where the world cup is being held.

I know, I know, it’s a terrible way to talk about my fellow countrymen (and women). But there is something about football that seems to bring out the worst behavior in a small minority of so called fans in a way that it doesn’t in other sports.

Until then I suppose I should get behind ‘our boys’ and chant along with the beery brotherhood. “In-ger-land! In-ger-land!!”

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