Life goes on. That’s what people say isn’t it. They’re right of course, life does indeed go on. Like waves to the shore the tide doesn’t stop for a moment, or even pause for thought. And where the sun is setting, somewhere else in the world it’s rising on a new dawn, proving the cliche, as if proof were needed, that regardless of all things life goes on.
It’s coming up to a month since my sister-in-law, Kate, died suddenly of a brain hemorrhage. Her death has thrown my idle thoughts into disarray. It’s like I’m gazing at my life as if it were an intricate painting that’s been hanging silently in a gallery waiting to be given something more than passing attention. Who is the painter here? What is the story behind this work? And in a world full of masterpieces I find myself wondering who will care to look at this picture when I too am gone?
Faces from faded pictures stare back at us from times gone by, and while we may share the names of the people from our past, our future might know little about them. My Grandfathers death made me wonder about who his Grandfather was and how it was that of all the things I might have known about that man, I actually knew nothing of him.
I didn’t really know Kate that well. She was only married to Pete for a little over two years. I thought I had all the time in the world to get to know her as my sister-in-law. But here I am looking at her face in a photograph smiling back at me from the past, knowing that she will remain this way forever now, locked in time, never to grow old with those who had only just started calling her family.
Life goes on I guess. But forgive me if I lag behind a little, I’m just looking at this painting, trying to find something behind the brush strokes.
For now, this video is my tribute to Kate. I made it last week and put it on a DVD for my brother. He said I could share it online, so this then is my memorial to my sister-in-law, Kate Jones.
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Wrote the following comment on Oct 25, 2006 at 8:00 pm
simon, that was beautiful.
as hard as it is, sometimes its good for us to have a reminder of how fragile life is, so we can get back up and start taking advantage of our own.
i hope this happens for you in the midst of this tragedy.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 25, 2006 at 8:17 pm
I agree with Sommer…the video was beautiful.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 25, 2006 at 9:00 pm
“And in a world full of masterpieces I find myself wondering who will care to look at this picture when I too am gone?”
i too have thought of this, no doubt among countless others. i think this video is something your brother will always treasure and be so grateful that you made.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 25, 2006 at 10:49 pm
Your painting analogy reminds me of this song.
These carbon shells
These fragile dusty frames
House canvases of souls
We are bruised and broken masterpieces
But we did not paint ourselves
Sorry again for your loss. I pray that in your search to make sense of you find answers to the questions you’re asking.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 25, 2006 at 11:46 pm
I felt like I needed to say something but there were no words.
Your brother is in my prayers, as are you.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 2:26 am
Wow Simon.
Thank you for sharing that.
I’m going to have to go buy that CD now, too…that song was absolutely perfect.
I will always think of Kate Simon when I listen to it…and when I do, I will pray for your brother.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 3:42 am
Beautiful. Even after 1 1/2 years of mom passing, I still miss her deeply. I couldn’t imagine if I lost her overnight. I will pray that your (and your bother’s) memories of her be sweet and enduring and that God help you get through this very sorrowful time.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 4:54 am
i can’t take the chance to watch your video now, since i’m quietly typing in a hotel room while my mom and gmom lightly sleep… but i did want to stop and say now, before it passes, that your post has perfect timing for me. thank you. it’s amazing how we, or i, can go through something like half a century without allowing the time to stop, look, listen and soak it all in.
i know that as that radiates with me in this season, i feel encouraged to see others taking that pause. i know i don’t know you… but…
~~~ soak ~~~
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 5:12 am
oh simon that was really sad :( how is your brother doing?
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 5:18 am
Hows my brother doing? Well there are good days and bad days I guess. We’re keeping a close eye out for him.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 5:57 am
Hello everyone, it’s Peter Jones here – Simon’s brother, and Kate’s husband.
I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and prayers, it means a lot of to me.
If you didn’t know Kate, and even if you did, you might like to visit the link at the bottom of this post to read the few words I wrote for the memorial service. They’re my words, obviously, but most people seem to think I’ve captured her essence.
I wish there was more I could show you – so that you could all “get to know her” and find out what a really special lady she was. In her darkest moments my wife used to complain that she didn’t have many friends of her own – but if there’s one thing that I’ve realised over the past three weeks (and there has been so much more than “one thing” – trust me) it’s that she had lots and lots of friends, lots and lots.. and countless more who she could have been friends with, given enough time.
Anyway. As Simon says – life goes on. And one thing my wife really believed in was getting on with life.
Thanks again, and kind regards
Peter
https://www.justicing.com/contents/dontwait.html
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 5:22 pm
Peter and Simon- there are too many people we don’t even get to meet…
I hope it helps to know they are thinking of you.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 6:48 pm
Reading this makes me sit back and wonder. Should I let life ‘flow’ by or take the risks out there and grasp what I can. In the past I have feared death. Not of myself, but of the ones I love. But knowing that I have loved someone out weights that fear. It gives me peace with no regrets. It gives me strength.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 10:10 pm
beautiful tribute…i’m sure she would appreciate it. i’ll say a prayer for your brother.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 10:19 pm
Gosh Simon and Peter, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It effects me deeply even though I’ve never met you. Thanks Simon for the wee comment and props.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 26, 2006 at 11:17 pm
I firstly read ‘Dont Wait’. Both Terry and I think its a very moving and honest piece of writing which must have been very difficult to write. The tribute is lovely and a real keepsake, it shows Kate just as we remember her-she had an honest and genuine way. We are so glad that we shared some really great evenings with Peter and Kate and those we will truly miss. One good thing that has come from this is that we have formed that friendship with Peter, and that will continue. Our love Terry, Ginny, Emma and Adam
Wrote the following comment on Oct 27, 2006 at 12:59 am
Your brother looks so happy in the pictures. I am so sorry for his loss. The video was perfect.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 27, 2006 at 3:05 am
That is simply an amazing tribute. So beautiful.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 27, 2006 at 2:18 pm
The video was very well done, and a beautiful tribute to beautiful person. Death is an enemy that is never welcome. My prayers are with you and your brother during this time. I can’t even begin to imagine what he must be going through.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 28, 2006 at 1:20 pm
You know what is behind the brush strokes Simon? The message “You are dust, and to dust you shall return”. We are nothing; and life goes on in spite of us. Our sorrows, our losses, our joy, our great happiness – none of that changes natures cycle…life goes on even when we wish we could lag behind a bit.
So here’s the rub…to make a difference…to be remembered…the only way to leave a mark… is to be the brush. Stop looking behind the brush – be the brush. Forget who you are, serve others. Be in this world for others. In the whole scope of humanity there are very few individuals that are remembered for their individual greatness. But many people, through their participation in life changing events, have changed humanity –
Simon, your work is beautiful. You bring beauty to ugly places and events. You make us smile when we are suffering. When you reach out to one of us you make us feel special and interesting. You have honored Kate with this tribute. You are the brush of compassion.
Peter, I have been where you are, and I’m sorry. I won’t offer any platitudes…I’m sure you’ve heard many already. It seems obvious that you are cared for; I hope that is a source of comfort to you. Kate’s tribute is beautiful, thank you for allowing Simon to share it with us.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 28, 2006 at 3:11 pm
Simon, What a sensitive way to help Kate be remembered. You are a good brother to have.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 28, 2006 at 7:01 pm
we both knew Kate, not as well as we should have but well enough to love her, we saw her and Peter just days before she was taken, Peters loss has affected us both so deeply and is so hard to comprehend. We were unable to attend her memorial but Simon this tribute is so very fitting and reminds us of how lovely Kate was and how fragile life is.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 29, 2006 at 1:59 am
Oh Simon – that was beautiful . . . words are insufficient at this point. Just know my heart goes out to you and Peter . . . I love you, friend.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 29, 2006 at 7:37 pm
Simon, So sorry for all of your loss. It’s always tragic when someone so young dies.
as far as the Gaylord…it’s a huge resort near Dallas. Husband has business here for the week, and I tagged along to see Boy.
Wrote the following comment on Oct 31, 2006 at 6:42 am
Simon I’m behind on reading xanga, but just wanted to say your video was beautiful to watch. I’m very sorry for the loss for your brother and your family. We are never prepared…praying.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 6, 2006 at 2:24 am
What a beautiful and moving tribute. Despite not even knowing her I felt ‘chocked up’ at the end. I cannot even imagine the magnitude of the loss your brother will feel at the moment. My thoughts are with him.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 10, 2006 at 7:36 pm
Wonderful tribute Simon, I am very sorry to hear of the terrible loss your family has suffered. My thoughts and best wishes go out to you all, I wish there was more I could say, and yet if I could it wouldn’t be enough. Take care mate.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 9, 2007 at 11:38 pm
the world does go on, and i as i looked across at your brother peter in the office today, i see him smiling and it spreads warmth and happiness; keep going peter, you make a difference to people, and that in itself is a gift and a tribute to kate.
life is short, true love is endless.