Religious right wing loony toon Jerry Falwell is dead. Right now he’s probably arguing with God over some of the crap he’s said while representing his boss who surely must be growing tired of the many suits who stand up and act like a spokesman for him.

Falwell was one of those big name preachers who stirred things up by launching attacks on everyone from fellow Christian bigwig, Billy Graham (whom he once called the chief servant of Satan), to Tinky Winky of the Telletubbies. He sparked debate and while that might not have been a bad thing, those debates often centered around Falwell himself and the fact that at times he was a socially disconnected heartless bastard.

But lets not speak ill of the dead. Instead lets take a few moments to enjoy some of my favorite Falwell quotes, Falwellism’s if you will.

His crowning moment of assholeness came with this now timeless Falwellism said on Pat Robinson’s 700 Club TV show on September 13th, 2001, as America and the world reeled in shock at the horror of 9/11.

“The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say, You helped this happen.

Falwell said in his exchange with host Pat Robinson, “God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.” Unsurprisingly those comments didn’t work out so well for Jerry who later sheepishly tried to sort-of apologize for them.

Abortionists, feminists, gays and “the lesbians” are subjects one might expect a religious fundamentalist to take shots at, but Tinky Winky from the children’s TV show ‘Telletubbies‘ probably didn’t see the attack coming when Falwell accused Tinky of promoting a gay lifestyle!

“Now, further evidence that the creators of the series intend for Tinky Winky to be a gay role model have surfaced. He is purple – the gay-pride color; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle – the gay-pride symbol.”

Falwell warned parents to watch out for gay waves emanating from the TV when the Telletubbies was on (okay, I made up that bit about ‘gay waves’), and he was concerned about the release of Telletubbie dolls.

Back in 1989 Jerry took a slug at feminists saying that they were just hateful women who simply needed a man in the house.

“I listen to feminists and all these radical gals – most of them are failures. They’ve blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom. These women just need a man in the house. That’s all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they’re mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They’re sexist. They hate men – that’s their problem.”

Falwell also apparently believed that AIDS was the wrath of God against homosexuals and anyone who tolerated homosexuals.

“AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharoah’s chariotters.” And also “AIDS is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”

Jerry wasn’t a tree hugger or a believer in the biblical principle of stewardship of the earth that some Christians ascribe to. No sir, he drove a GMC Suburban and encouraged others to go out and buy SUV’s.

On CNN’s ‘Inside Politics’ show in November 2002, Falwell dismissed global warming as “created to destroy America’s free enterprise system and our economic stability.” Frequently interrupting the shows other guest whose views opposed his, Falwell went on to say “I urge everyone to go out and buy an SUV today.”

“I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I’m going to buy a Suburban next time.”

He didn’t get to see public schools replaced by churches which he apparently once hoped for. Though he was probably pleased to see the ongoing debate about teaching creationism as science in schools.

“I hope to live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!”

Falwell once claimed to work from 6:00 am to midnight seven days a week. He said he was glad that he never drank or smoked because he had buried a lot of friends who used tobacco and alcohol. At the age of 73 he now joins them.

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