“Shoulder pads and shit music” was the way a friend of mine once described the 1980’s, the decade in which I went from being interested in bikes and creepy crawlies to cars and girls. But is it fair to look back at the 80’s and judge that time so harshly? Some evidence, like the video below, is hard to defend.
Arguably one of the worst things about the 1980’s, apart from Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan, was the ‘ready-mix’ pop music factory of Stock Aitken & Waterman. From the mid eighties through to the early 90’s the three songwriters (and I use that term loosely) wrote and produced over 200 top 40 UK hits making them one of the most successful song-writing and producing partnership of all time.
The Stock Aitken & Waterman typical recipe for success was to take some moderately talented person, write them a catchy tune, then get them to bounce around in a video for the song which would be a hit is the clubs and seep into common culture like an undiscovered chemical leak.
Among some of the names the trip gave us (inflicted upon us?) were Rick Astley, Bananarama, Divine, Jason Donovan, Samantha Fox, Mel and Kim, Kylie Minogue, Pepsi & Shirlie, Sabrina, Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Sinitta, and that annoying squeeky voiced scoucer, Sonia.
Some of the music was truly awful. In fact, lets just be honest here and say that in truth all of the music was truly awful. Synth pop high energy rubbish that coiled itself into your brain like a rhythmic parasite. Many a teenage party I attended included the ‘classics’ like Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up‘ and Sam Fox’s embarrassing elevation from Page 3 girl to pop babe with ‘Touch me‘.
For me, the lowest high point (or maybe the highest low point?) of the Stock Aitken & Waterman days was the fleeting appearance of ‘Sabrina.’ Presumably chosen for her sizable ‘natural talents’, Italian Sabrina Salerno was plucked from obscurity to sing the 1987 hit ‘Boys (Summertime Love)‘. The track was a huge success based in no small part on Miss Salerno’s bouncy performance in the music video (above).
The funny thing is, no matter how crap the songs actually were, many of Stock Aitken & Waterman’s tracks have become ingrained in history as musical marker points (though what they mark is open to debate). The power of music is that it triggers memories and so despite the fact they are undoubtedly crap songs, a lot of Stock Aitken & Waterman’s tunes take me and others back to simpler days, and with that they hold a value I never imagined they would.
So while we might not be prepared to yet forgive Margaret Thatcher or Ronald Reagan for their part on the 1980’s, forgiving Stock Aitken & Waterman might actually be possible. Who know, in another twenty years we might all be able to forgive likes of Brittany Spears, 50 Cent and Eminem!
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Sabrina ‘Boys (Summertime Love)’
Another amusing ‘Boys (Summertime Love)’ performance
Stock Aitken & Waterman
Sabrina (now a hot Mom) sings a new song ‘I love you’
Wrote the following comment on May 3, 2007 at 5:09 pm
I absolutely LOVE 80s music. I remember growing up and singing to all those songs.
Sure, some of it may not be quality music… but how could you diss the decade when Michael Jackson was considered adorable and talented, Madonna came out with ‘Like a Virgin’, and another hundreds made their name (Van Halen, Prince, Aerosmith, Metallica… I could go on forever). I thinks 80s music is GOOD music. ^_^
But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive Britney Spears. ^_~ Eminem’s sort of sexy, though…
Wrote the following comment on May 3, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Oh make no mistake, I’m not critisizing 80’s music in general, just the ready-made ‘just add a bimbo’ pop that gave the world things like Sabrina and her beautiful bouncing talents. :-)
Wrote the following comment on May 3, 2007 at 6:39 pm
I classify Eminem as a real artist – (and naturally I am an expert since I am 18 and have been in several bands) personal – I’m not a big rap fan, but his works are actually, dare I say it..?
Good.
50 Cent is shite though.
And as for the 80’s it was also the years of Thrash metal, the rise of Metallica who have inspired so many, the years of hair metal, the years of Aerosmith and so many other sub-genres of rock and metal. Prog rock was also a thing of the 80s, which has pushed boundries even further and become experimental metal, which has influenced a surprisingly large amount of Pop music, reverse reverb was created by a prog. rock band and is now, sparingly, but well used in the Pop industry (check out “baby come on” by +44). In fact a lot of the things used by modern artists, not just in pop, but in many many genres, were brought about in the 80’s – it was the 80’s when technicality became important, being tight as a band was a good thing and so Noise Gate was created to help emphasize this tightness.
I could go on =P
Wrote the following comment on May 3, 2007 at 8:14 pm
I have a hard time trying to convince my wife that much 80s music like the stuff you mention above is rubbish!
Much of 80s music sounds like a boy in his bedroom with a keyboard messing around. Very manufactured.
That said there is much 80s music that is great but you have to be choosy – I suppose like any other music really :)
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 10:08 am
I loved and still love 80s music. It was the era when I started recording (from the radio!) and purchasing my own music. Yes, SAW’s music was mass produced. The 80s were probably the first phase in music history where record labels were not pretending anymore to be dull & commercial.
At the same time, there were very good bands such as Joy Division, New Order, Depeche Mode, Human League, Yazoo, Smiths, U2 that had (and some still have) a heavy influence on today’s music.
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 10:16 am
sorry, that should have read “The 80s were probably the first phase in music history where record labels stopped pretending NOT to be dull & commercial”.
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Like I say Pichel, I can appreciate even SAW stuff now :-)
But hey, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, U2, Joy Division & New Order. Oh the list could go on. All that stuff is the music I grew up on.
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 4:02 pm
Absolutely, Simon – by the way: I found one great thing for giving you your occasional “80s fix” are these internet radio stations (like “The 80s Channel”). Only trouble is they’re playing a lot of SAW stuff.
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I found a good one in the ‘electronic’ selection on iTunes that plays 80’s 90’s remixes in modern styles. That’s a goodun too!
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 4:20 pm
I had to rewatch this video today. XD I think her nipple was exposed for a whole 3 secs!
Seriously, where did they find that bikini?
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Proof that a nipple can be exposed and this country doesn’t fall into chaos unlike certain countries I could mention that seem to think the site of a nipple will lead to civil unrest! :-)
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 4:57 pm
I think you could say every decade had its great music and its utter shite. Personally I loved the 80s, was the decade I was born and grew up in which is why I love Reflex Bar on Watling Street (its in London where I live).
In the 90s you had (ugh!) Peter Andre, Euro-Pop etc. Yet we also got great bands like Blur, Pulp, Oasis and the advent of Indie music. Nirvana (then) Foo Fighters. Not to mention the leaps of dance music in Faithless, Chemical Brothers and The Prodigy.
Today, crap music is the likes of Britney, Christina and all that RnB crap. But we do get the likes of The Killers, Franz Ferdinand, Scissor Sisters and more.
Like everything, music has its equals and exact opposites, great music, but we have to suffer the utter shite too.
Wrote the following comment on May 4, 2007 at 10:28 pm
At risk of being a critical jerk, in your post you have an error where you typed “1890s” which was an era when John Philip Sousa was popular and ragtime was emerging. It was also a time when Margaret Thatcher was not even a twinkle in either of her parent’s eyes. So, here is what you do, correct your post, get rid of my response, and no one will ever have to know.
I got your back my friend! :-)
Wrote the following comment on May 5, 2007 at 1:12 am
Ah yes, thanks for pointing the type out Anthony. I’ve changed it now but I would like to point out something you may not have been aware of. That is that Margaret Thatcher was indeed around in the 1890’s. She was a Victorian witch who fell into a deep deep sleep when the curse of the ytrap evitavresnoc was cast upon her.
Legend has it that the 100 years from the date of the ytrap evitavresnoc curse, if anyone said “ytrap evitavresnoc” backwards the wicked witch would stir from her slumber and lead the country into a period of shortsighted greed that would pitch the ancient isles into near financial ruin.
100 years later, someone did indeed say ytrap evitavresnoc backwards, and the rest, as they say, is history!
Wrote the following comment on May 5, 2007 at 3:44 am
“Arguably one of the worst things about the 1980’s, apart from Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan…”
I don’t want to hijack the conversation, but what exactly do you not like about those two!
Perhaps a blog on its own? ;)
Wrote the following comment on May 5, 2007 at 3:51 am
Maggie plunged Britain into recession, introduced a hideously unfair tax that the UNARMED people of this FREE country rose up against and defeated (without the need to fire one bullet!). She is not considered a great leader in this country largely because toward the end of her 19 year reign she was… well… a loony toon!
Ronnie was a movie star who refused to say AIDS publicly.