It’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon and, despite the fact I am not in bed, a friend is formally inviting me to join them in a pillow fight. Surely that’s the kind of thing that is supposed to happen on the spur of the moment? Evidently not in the world of facebook. In this world a formal invitation to a pillow fight is no more or less out of the ordinary than being gifted a beer that you can never actually drink, or being given a kiss that has more air in it than a dinner party no-contact “mwahh.” Welcome to the world of ‘social networking.’
Like millions of people I have a facebook account. I signed up back in early 2006 so I could look at pictures posted on the site by a friend. She seemed keen that I view pictures of her being gloriously drunk and apparently pole dancing around a street lamp. The pictures were amusing enough and now I too had a facebook account, so what could I do with this I wondered?
Not having an abundance of drunken pole dancing pictures of my own to post I decided to just search for friends and see what they had on their facebook pages. Pretty quickly I was sucked into making ‘friend requests’ and squinting at tiny pictures of ex-girlfriends.
The ‘friend confirmations’ came in thick and fast allowing me the ability to voyeuristically peer into the lives of those people who I was now forever digitally connected with. Each confirmation seemed to fuel my desire for more friends and I spent increasing amounts of time on the site searching for people I knew, with the qualification for ‘friend’ status becoming ever more relaxed.
After acquiring a respectable number of ‘friends’ I found myself looking at my facebook page and thinking, now what? Pretty soon my ‘news feed’ was filling up with all kinds of stuff that I would simply delete without a second glance if it had arrived by email.
“Mark was challenged to a movie quiz.” “Sommer has added a new bumper sticker.” “Anthony just received a new comment.” “Jen wants to go out tonight.” “Someone is checking out Carly on Zoosk.” – This is junk, and I’m logging in to read this? Surely there must be more to facebook than this?
While I appreciate the opportunity to catch up with friends, once I’m up to date I’m not really interested in knowing that “David is looking for a new cell phone” or that “Paula is fed up of marking homework.”
I find myself getting numerous requests to join groups or install “exciting apps” like ‘beer’ or ‘easter eggs.’ But I don’t get anything from a digital beer or easter egg, and while that’s a nice gesture it loses what little value it had when I see that the sender has carpet-bombed the very same thing to the 641 people they have in their friends list.
But wait, they have 641 friends? Who has 641 friends in the real world?
Now all of a sudden my status as ‘friend’ feels worthless. They’re clearly some kind of ‘friend whore’ whose ‘friendship’ with me has more to do with showing the world how popular they are rather than being interested in anything I’m doing.
As I realize this I awaken to the fact that I too added them to increase my own number of ‘friends.’ “Look at how popular I am!” And with that, I take a step back to consider what it is that I’m getting from facebook.
Maybe there’s a side to social networking that I’m just not switched on to, but if so then it has thus far eluded me. I like connecting with friends, but this feels more like creating indistinct connections that allow us to broadcast rather than communicate. If anything I would suggest that it diminishes our desire to connect with people by providing an illusion that we know what’s happening in their lives.
Perhaps I’ve not immersed myself in the world of facebook to fully appreciate the value of a digital beer over a real one? I don’t suppose it really matters anyway, facebook feels like fashion to me. It’s today’s equivalent moon-boots or leg-warmers, and tomorrow we’ll be talking about something else. All that to say I just don’t get facebook, but I’m pleased for you if you’re one of the millions who enjoy the site.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go update my twitter.
—
How Facebook Is Like Ikea
Too Old for Facebook?
Am I too old for facebook?
I Still Think I’m Too Old For Facebook
Facebook users beware
Evolution of the social network
How Much Is Facebook Really Worth?
What the heck is Twitter?
Wrote the following comment on Mar 28, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Oh good, it’s not just me who doesn’t get it. I just figure I’m too old to get it. Although, I do have to say that I had a good long laugh yesterday when I received a friend request from a woman I went to high school with whom I haven’t seen nor spoken to in 20 years. Her religion was listed as “saved by the blood of jesus.” I had to IM several friends with the story. It was good for a laugh at least.
Now excuse me while I go throw a sheep at you. (Why is that you can’t throw a shoe at someone?)
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 12:56 am
Great post! I read it out loud to my wife and we got a good laugh. I’m still trying to figure out what I like about Facebook. It was great to catch up with friend and find that I can contact them if I feel like it. Many of my friends I can just drop an email. I plan on experimenting the marketing aspects. I can post a new pattern on https://www.farmidable.com and tell my Facebook friends. Does that make me a spammer? Well they did confirm that they wanted to be my friend. Since you and I are “friended” I’m sure you’ll see it at some point.
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 1:31 am
Ha! I was literally saying the very same thing yesterday evening to my wife. She has a facebook and is always pestering me to join so that she can be ‘in a relationship’ with me. I’m thinking to myself, Geez! We’re married, how much more of a relationship could there be?
At my workplace facebook is already yesterday’s news and everyone now has twitter accounts. (Do you really have a twitter?) I have Gmail, but that doesn’t seem to cut it anymore in coolness terms anymore.
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 1:57 am
I *had* a facebook and a myspace for a very very short while. I’m not sure what the point was. If I want to get ahold of my friends, I pick up the phone. I guess I’m not hip anymore. I must be getting old. Where’s my bran muffin.
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 3:13 am
I agree with you on this one Simon, I don’t get Facebook either. Like you I have an account but only so that when someone says you got to check out my facebook I can. I rarely check it and find all the nudging, winking and whatever else they call things a bit pointless really.
Its just a fad. A bit like myspace was about a year ago and it will fade in a similar way i am sure. Something new will be just around the corner and take everyone by storm.
What that we be we will have to see.
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 4:25 am
I had to laugh with bobgirrl above…”saved by the blood” is one of my facebook friends too. In fact, I was directed to read your blog through my facebook. Hmm. Other religious views listed by my facebook friends are: “jedi,” “athiest,” “god is cool,” “i want to believe, but…,” and of course, yours-“Jenna J.” I think facebook is just fun-nonsense, and I love that I can have friends with such different perspectives! I’ve had fun catching-up with bobgirrl and soon I’ll catch-up with “saved by the blood.” I know that I can just send you an email if I want to talk to you. It’s just a different way to say “hey.” Hey.
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 4:33 pm
What an amusing find this was. I work for a social networking site and I think it’s just a matter of time before you’ll see social networking sites become more useful with features and services that really begin to evolve the user experience. It’s early days yet.
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Absolutely hilarious…and so very true. Still…I’m hooked. :)
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 8:00 pm
LOL! “Look how popular I am!” Oh I am so totally guilty of that!
Irony is, I found this link in my facebook news feed today!
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 11:12 pm
28,436,971 friends, HA! A very subtle joke. Nicely done!
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I got it just because my daughter got it and I don’t totally get it. I miss the real life of xanga and yet I’ve fallen off the wagon and haven’t done it much lately. Thanks for keeping it up though!
Wrote the following comment on Mar 29, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Simon – I really enjoyed this post. I often feel conflicted about my relationship to facebook. I like connecting with people, and I am weird in that I like to connect through writing. So, sending messages or posting on walls is fun for me. I also like checking out pics that friends post. However, what I don’t get into is the 1001 invites to take this quiz or get that application. I have a couple of things like that, but they quickly lost their charm for me.
The biggest dilemma for me is when to initiate and accept a friends request. I have not established clear guidelines. There are people in the Fresno Pacific network that I have seen and remembered from when we all were undergrad students together, but I haven’t kept in touch with many of them, and with many of them we were just basically fellow college students, not really friends in a meaningful sense. Also, currently I get requests from people I know in passing, but have not really connected with. So, I feel like I am on a high wire between being a poser by accepting their requests and being a dick for rejecting it.
What to do? Oh, hey look, someone just posted on my wall. Gotta go!
Wrote the following comment on Mar 30, 2008 at 3:46 am
I wondered if anyone would notice I appeared to have more than 28 million friends in that picture :-)
No Doug, I don’t have a twitter, I think I signed up for an account a while back, but heck if I can remember what my username and password is. That’s another service which I’m a little perplexed by.
Now BellaGeek, you wouldn’t happen to work in marketing would you? I’m sure social networking has a more useful role to play in the future, because if it doesn’t then like moon boots and leg warmers it won’t have much of a future at all.
I totally get where you’re coming from too Anthony. I too have become selective about who I call ‘friends’ these days. I’ve got three friend requests sitting in my inbox at the moment from people who I barely know. I feel bad refusing them, so instead their requests will go unanswered.
I also have someone on my friends list who isn’t really a friend, I added them because I felt it would be rude not to, but now I want to delete them. The problem is they only have a handful of friends so if I bring our digital association to an end they would likely notice this, and I’m concerned that they might feel I was being mean!
Wrote the following comment on Mar 30, 2008 at 4:23 am
this is sooo funny :) and if you’re talking about me, which i know you’re not, you can delete me and i won’t be offened. just kidding, i would be.
Wrote the following comment on Mar 30, 2008 at 9:42 am
There’s nothing to actually get. What once started as a cheaper alternative to Friends Reunited has descended into an over-commercialised free for all. It’s a crying shame. Unlike FU, where one searches for school pals, FB simply says, find anybody. This is a much better way of doing things surely. And, fuelled by businessmen with deep pockets who at some point *will* want a handsome return for their investment, what did we really expect? FB could never stick with just what it is good at (making links to folks you don’t see often and providing a forum to leave delayed messages and pics). It always pushes for more by adding the commercial ‘add-ons’, because the funders require more users and more clicks in order to justify expenditure.
It’s a sorry way for such a neat idea to go, but as with all good Internet ideas, they either remain self-funding, small and loved by their owner, or take on ludicrous capital to sustain geometric growth, and suffer! (Was it $37M??)
There are some lovely little ‘add-ons’ to be had on FB, so let’s not dismiss that. You can play Pacman, and other retro 80’s games which being a simple mind I so miss!! I can challenge my sisters in ROI to the never ending movie quiz. But you’re unlikely to find me giving away air-beer, or launching Paris Hilton at anyone (especially you Simon!).. :)
Wrote the following comment on Mar 30, 2008 at 2:32 pm
See, Darryl knows what I’m talking about :-)
And No, I don’t work in marketing. I’m a software development engineer. Marketing indeed, pah!
Wrote the following comment on Mar 30, 2008 at 8:55 pm
yeah im more of a myspace whore than facebook. i hate that it makes you add applications just to see what someone else has said about you or whatever.
i still check facebook every once in ahwile, but myspace gets my love everyday.
thanks for the shoutout! hahha