Britain’s general election is now over and apparently we’re heading for a hung parliament.

Now I’m all for change, but really I’m disappointed that the media couldn’t just stick with the issues and not drag everything into the gutter as usual. I mean what do I care if the parliament is “hung” or not!

We have a general election here in the UK in just over a week I’m not really very excited about it. In fact I am not really very interested in it at all! So I wonder, am I too comfortable, too lazy, or is modern British politics just plain boring?

I honestly have no idea who to vote for on May 6th. I don’t like any of the parties because I simply don’t trust suit wearing, smugly smiling, hand shaking, baby holding, campaign stomping politicians. Underneath their party colors they’re all much the same if you ask me.

By the very nature politicians play political games. They look after themselves first, the people who keep them in power second, then somewhere after all of their other interests and activities they might look out for the interests of the people.

The recent parliamentary expenses scandals were of no real surprise. I wasn’t shocked to find out that political figures do questionable things and take advantage of their privileged positions.

In all honesty I almost don’t blame the politicians for taking advantage of the expenses system in the way they did. I can’t criticize them that harshly because I suspect that if I were in the same position as they were I might very well have been guilty of similar questionable application of the rules. Maybe that doesn’t reflect well on me, but I’m not perfect and I don’t expect politicians to be perfect either.

I suppose that’s the thing really. I’ve lost faith in political figures because I don’t really relate to their political personas. I’m tired of the carefully crafted statements and the overly wordy noise pollution they give off when saying nothing at all. They just don’t seem that real. They’re just part of a big ugly machine called government that moves slowly and often in the wrong direction.

Maybe I should be paying closer attention. Maybe I should have watched the three party leaders in their recent television debates. But frankly, I have better things to spend my time on than listening to three boring men argue with one another over stuff that will make very little real difference.

If I’ve got that wrong, please tell me. I’m serious, if you think there is something important I should know then I really would appreciate your insight. Because from where I am sitting I think we’re basically a wealthy country gripped by the same problems all wealthy countries have. Our liberty is being encroached upon by an increasingly intrusive security state that is happy most people mistake consumerism for freedom.

I’ve got my ‘hot button’ issues that I feel strongly about, but none of the ‘big three’ political parties are particularly talking about them because evidently they’re not considered that ‘hot’ to the rest of the country.

So help me out; is this really a boring election where we’re all just going to vote the current lot out with more conviction than we vote another lot in? Help me please, the election is just days away and in the absence of a ‘none of the above’ option I don’t know what box to cross on voting day.

President Barack Obama has been awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. Apparently the Nobel Committee awarded the US President the honor because of “his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples.” Not that it really matters, but surely it’s a little premature to be giving President Obama a Nobel Peace Prize?

If you ask me I think that there is another story behind this decision. I think perhaps the judges all got together and had a wild night of strippers and booze then through the heavy haze of a hangover they just came up with the first name of someone ‘important’ that they could think of.

I don’t know about you, but the reason for the award sounds like something of an excuse, not dissimilar to those I used to offer my school teachers when they asked me where my mysteriously absent homework was. “Oh yeah, well you see, I was on my way to school and there was this old lady that had lost her white stick so I rolled up my English homework and gave that to her to use as a white stick.”

I like the President, really I do, but shouldn’t we at least wait for him to produce a little peace in the world before we give him a prize for doing so?

I suspect that Mr Obama himself is probably wishing that the judges had chosen someone else from their list of 205 nominees. The award will undoubtedly lead to a media focus on what the President has actually achieved (or not achieved) so far in his first term.

Such is the state of the modern political machine that any President would struggle to bring about rapid change. This truth is especially harsh for President Obama who used ‘change’ as a key feature of his election campaign.

Could it be that the prize has come from the global sense of relief that President Cheney Bush is no longer the “leader of the free world” (by the way, I absolutely detest that overblown phrase)? Such was the international distaste for that man that I can understand why a committee of international types might want to give the new President a prize, if for no other reason than for having the balls to step into the mess left by eight long years of President Bush.

If that was the case though, could we not have come up with a new award? Something like the ‘International Balls of Steel award’, which could itself lead to a very interesting trophy and acceptance ceremony. Surely such an award would then give us reason to create a similar accolade for the ‘Worlds Biggest Dick‘ whereupon a committee decide who has been the biggest dick of the year. At least awards like these would be a little more entertaining and not feel like saccharine political bullshit.

Perhaps we should just merge the Nobel Peace Prize with the MTV video music awards. At least that way Republicans like Joe Wilson could clamber onto the stage, Kanye West style, and ruin the ‘Barack Stars’ acceptance speech with an awkward ode to a some bemused white Senator sitting in the audience trying not to look mortified.

Maybe I shouldn’t make light of this. The Nobel Peace Prize isn’t supposed to be a prop of showbiz bling. Previous winners have included Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Aung San Suu Kyi, and Martin Luther King, Jr. But at the time of writing this several polls showed that most people feel that President Obama doesn’t deserve the prize, yet.

So, what do you think? Was there someone more deserving of the prize? Does this even matter? Who would you give the award to if you were on the Nobel Committee?

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The Wizard of Oslo
SNL lampoons President Obama (Video)
In Defense of Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize
The Obameter: Tracking Obama’s Campaign Promises
Thank God that’s over

“You never know what you’re history is going to be like until long after you’re gone.”

Former president Bush said that back in 2006, and doesn’t it feel great to call him former President Bush. You kind of get the feeling that the entire world has breathed a collective sigh of relief now that Bush is gone. Lets just hope that the damage he has done is repairable.

I watched President Obama’s Inauguration along with millions across the world. He’s got a tough road ahead of him. His country, and indeed the world is in something of a shambles at the moment. I’m not suggesting he can fix it all, but you would have to admit that the President of the United States is uniquely placed to exert a great deal of influence. I for one feel better that there is now a man of considerable intellect in charge of the USA, rather than some trigger happy pseudo Texan.

So as we say goodbye to George ‘Dubya’ Bush, it seems only fitting that we send him off by looking back on some of the wisdom he shared with us.

“Will the highways on the internets become more few?”

“It’s important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It’s not only life of babies, but it’s life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.”

“Most imports are from outside of the country”

“Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace.”

“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”

“They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it’s some kind of federal program.”

“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.”

“It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”

And finally, showing what a true Statesman he was, I especially love the question he put to the Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso in November, 2001. “Do you have blacks too?”

Oh how we’ll miss insightful gems like that.

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[Video] The best of the Bushisms
[Video] President Bush on his regrets and mistakes
[Video] 8 years in 8 minutes
[Video] Playboy TV launch ‘No More Bush’ month
The Complete Bushisms compiled by Jacob Weisberg
Shoe thrown at President Bush
Hair removal company say “Goodbye Bush” in cheeky ad
Veet say Goodbye Bush

Shortly after Barack Obama was declared the winner of Tuesday’s US Presidential elections I was reminded of something Winston Churchill once said. “You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.”

Never before have I seen so much interest in a US Presidential election here in the UK. The day after Obama’s win the national press went positively Obamy, carrying full front-page pictures of Obama with coverage of the US election going several pages deep into the newspapers. If you were judging by press coverage alone, you might have been forgiven for thinking that the UK had at some point become the 51st state.

Here, and I suspect across much of the world, there is something of a sense of relief that the Bush years will soon be behind us. After a local firework display celebrating ‘Guy Fawkes night,’ one of my neighbors spoke to me about Obama’s win with a broad smile. “I stayed up late to watch the election. Wasn’t it wonderful that he won.” She told me.

People who perhaps wouldn’t ordinarily be keen followers of American politics, all seemed to have an opinion. I stayed up until 7am to watch the coverage with friends, and across the UK others were holding their own US election night parties!

The President of the United States is undeniably one of the most influential people on the planet and after 8 years of the most inept and downright embarrassing President in modern times, Barack Obama will surely bring to an end the air of Presiduncy that seems to currently define the office for which he has fought so hard to gain.

Addressing the vast crowd gathered in Chicago’s Grant Park to listen to his victory speech Obama delivered a rousing yet sobering message. “The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.”

America has elected its first ever black President, and for the first time in my life, I think I might actually believe the words of a politician.

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Obama’s victory speech

I have no words.

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Obama claims historic U.S. presidential win
World celebrates Obama’s landslide
Obama’s victory speech