I’M JUST SOME GUY
How the hell does one write their own bio without sounding like they’ve completely disappeared up their own ass?

Okay, I could tell you about how I jumped into a swimming pool to save a kid when I too was a kid. The hero angle is a good one though in truth that was probably the result of watching too much TV and believing that I was as invincible as any number of American TV heroes.

I might mention that I spent my childhood riding my bike as if it were a race car, and too this day I still have the scars to prove it. Or I could tell you how I loved sitting by my grandparents pond fishing for newts. I’d probably have to put that in context by saying that I lost interest in newts when I discovered naked girls, or at least the idea of naked girls.

I should probably say I’m an Englishman, but I’m no flag waving beer swilling, bar fighting, tattooed football thug. I have to mime the words of the national anthem after ‘God save our gracious Queen’.

I could tell you that I’ve had a whole host of jobs and that I’ve been fired from a couple of those. I’ve been thrown out of Churches for not being religious enough. I believe in God and science, I’m pro-life AND pro-abortion, and while reality TV has it’s place there’s quite enough reality in my life for me not to feel the need to consume a reality with a theme tune and sponsor.

I’ll come back to this bio and do a better job at a later date. In the meantime here are some pictures of me and some of the folk in my life.

If you’re not on this page then please understand it’s not because I don’t like you. It’s more likely that I couldn’t find a picture of you and me in which I looked good! :-)