Debt collection agencies are always rude. I don’t have much opportunity to deal with them, but even when I spoke with one with regard to getting an unpaid debt owed to my company paid, they were still rude!

A few days ago I got a letter from a debt collection agency in relation to an unpaid final bill from t-Mobile (before I switch to Orange). I have already paid that bill and so I was surprised to get the demand from these guys giving me 6 days to pay or face some kind of legal ‘bover’.

The number to call them was an 0871 number, that costs 10p a minute, and so I was already feeling a bit miffed to have to call it but call I did. After nearly 10 minutes on hold I got through to a very grumpy bloke who didn’t greet me with a warm hello, or even a frosty hello. Instead he simply demanded my reference number in the same way a mugger might demand you wallet.

“Err, Hello.” I said “Could I have your name?”
“No” Came the steely answer. No bells, no whistles, no explanations and no reason. Just no.
“Excuse me. No?”
“reference number.” He demanded once more.
“Well could I have your name, just so I know who I am talking to?”
“You don’t need it pal, your reference number is all you need.”

Pal! I couldn’t believe he had just called me ‘Pal.’ If this is him being pally I wouldn’t want to see what he was like when he was being rude.

“I’m sorry Pal” I said “But just like you want my reference number, I want your name, if for no other reason just so we can refrain from referring to one another as Pal.”
“Look Pal, I am not giving you my name. Give me your reference number.” He said in a voice that was obviously becoming quite annoyed.

I felt bad for him. Imagine yourself locked in a job where you hate everything and everyone so much that you can’t even bring yourself to be the slightest bit polite. But my sympathy aside this guy had already set us into a stand off.

“Why aren’t you going to give your name?”
“Because I don’t have to, but unless you want me to hang up you have to give me your reference number.”
“What are you scared of?” I asked. It was a serious question. I’ve never understood why some telephone operators don’t give out there names.
“Are you threatening me Pal?” He snapped.
“My name isn’t Pal, it’s Simon but you can call me Mr Jones or Sir, okay Pal?” At this point I’m now annoyed. All I wanted to do was just resolve an obvious mix up but within the first moments of a conversation I’m already feeling aggrieved at the way I’m being dealt with.

“Listen Pal, I don’t care what your name is, I don’t need to know it, we’re not going on a date! All I need from you is your reference number,” he snapped.

I responded in kind. “Now I want your name because now I want to complain about your attitude PAL! All I wanted was to sort out a little misunderstanding and you’ve just..” -click.

And that was it. End of the conversation with t-Mobiles friendly debt collector who I’ll call ‘Pal.’ Ordinarily I would record a conversation like this, but I assumed it would be a simple call to address the obvious mix up as t-Mobile already have my money (I checked before I called). Of course I am kicking myself now, I should have recorded it, that way I could have shared it with the world on the net.

I can’t be bothered calling them back. I’ve got better things to be getting on with, but for now I felt that returning their letter to them might be a start. So I wrote a little note on it for their benefit, then popped it into an envelope with no stamp so they have to pick up the penalty postage when they get it back.

Okay, so it might not have been the most mature thing to do, but it made me feel better.