These newspaper clippings are pretty old, but they’re funny nonetheless.
I couldn’t find anything online to see if Hooters waitress, Jodee Berry, won her ‘toy yoda’ lawsuit.
I’d love to know how the owners of a home sold by Californian realtor, Shirley Hunsperger, are getting on with their “huge dick” which Hunsperger listed as being ideal for “entertaining.” On her website she says she has “built a reputation for client satisfaction”. I bet she has!
The “Safety Not Guaranteed” ad and the one for the cat or the guy are clearly suspect but amusing. At times I’ve been tempted to place a crazy add in the Liverpool echo or London Evening Standard, just to see what kind of nutty responses you might get. The trouble is coming up with something that is just this side of believable. Any ideas?
MOTO MASSAGE : New technique of massage from Europe involves repeatedly riding motorcycle over lower back. Especially effective for stiffness. For appointment call…
ROOM TO LET : Very small basement room with no windows or electricity. Suitable for quiet person who enjoys sleeping standing up. Close to park. £65 per week. Call…
SEX THERAPIST : Attractive and athletic women wanted for therapeutic sex. No strings attached (no hookers please) Call…
Feel free to offer any ideas you might have for a funny small ad. You never know, I might even place one just for laughs!
“Shoulder pads and shit music” was the way a friend of mine once described the 1980’s, the decade in which I went from being interested in bikes and creepy crawlies to cars and girls. But is it fair to look back at the 80’s and judge that time so harshly? Some evidence, like the video below, is hard to defend.
Arguably one of the worst things about the 1980’s, apart from Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan, was the ‘ready-mix’ pop music factory of Stock Aitken & Waterman. From the mid eighties through to the early 90’s the three songwriters (and I use that term loosely) wrote and produced over 200 top 40 UK hits making them one of the most successful song-writing and producing partnership of all time.
The Stock Aitken & Waterman typical recipe for success was to take some moderately talented person, write them a catchy tune, then get them to bounce around in a video for the song which would be a hit is the clubs and seep into common culture like an undiscovered chemical leak.
Among some of the names the trip gave us (inflicted upon us?) were Rick Astley, Bananarama, Divine, Jason Donovan, Samantha Fox, Mel and Kim, Kylie Minogue, Pepsi & Shirlie, Sabrina, Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Sinitta, and that annoying squeeky voiced scoucer, Sonia.
Some of the music was truly awful. In fact, lets just be honest here and say that in truth all of the music was truly awful. Synth pop high energy rubbish that coiled itself into your brain like a rhythmic parasite. Many a teenage party I attended included the ‘classics’ like Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up‘ and Sam Fox’s embarrassing elevation from Page 3 girl to pop babe with ‘Touch me‘.
For me, the lowest high point (or maybe the highest low point?) of the Stock Aitken & Waterman days was the fleeting appearance of ‘Sabrina.’ Presumably chosen for her sizable ‘natural talents’, Italian Sabrina Salerno was plucked from obscurity to sing the 1987 hit ‘Boys (Summertime Love)‘. The track was a huge success based in no small part on Miss Salerno’s bouncy performance in the music video (above).
The funny thing is, no matter how crap the songs actually were, many of Stock Aitken & Waterman’s tracks have become ingrained in history as musical marker points (though what they mark is open to debate). The power of music is that it triggers memories and so despite the fact they are undoubtedly crap songs, a lot of Stock Aitken & Waterman’s tunes take me and others back to simpler days, and with that they hold a value I never imagined they would.
So while we might not be prepared to yet forgive Margaret Thatcher or Ronald Reagan for their part on the 1980’s, forgiving Stock Aitken & Waterman might actually be possible. Who know, in another twenty years we might all be able to forgive likes of Brittany Spears, 50 Cent and Eminem!
So I discovered a rat in my garden today. It was sat on top of my compost pile only a few feet away from my back door. at first I didn’t realize what it was as I took the lid off my composter, but then as soon as a recognized it to be a rat I slammed the lid back on the composter and jumped back.
I spoke with my neighbor who revealed he caught a baby one the other day. Because he didn’t want to kill the rat he put it in a sack and released it in a nearby field!
However, no such consideration for the rodents well-being will be made if I catch one. I will have no trouble beating it to death with a spade making sure to crush its head! I also went out right away and got poison rat pellets to place inside and around my composter.
I also went online to research effective ways of killing rats and while searching for information I found a set of pictures that really turned my stomach. They’re so awful that perversely I had to share them with you all!
There wasn’t much explanation for the pictures below, but they appear to have come from a Thai website that shows how to prepare and cook rats!
However, if that wasn’t bad enough, consider this video next time you visit a KFC or TacoBell. The video shows the goings on inside the New York fast food restaurant after closing as a large group of fat rats scurry around the restaurant which was later closed down by City health officials.
Some of the music was truly awful. In fact, lets just be honest here and say that in truth all of the music was truly awful. Synth pop high energy rubbish that coiled itself into your brain like a rhythmic parasite. Many a teenage party I attended included the ‘classics’ like Rick Astley’s ‘
