I got a call this morning from my friend Phil. Right away I could tell from the tone of his voice that all was not well. “Are you sitting down?” he asked. Such a question is only going to proceed bad news. Then he continued. “German Andy died last night.”
‘German Andy’ actually wasn’t German at all, in fact he was every bit as English and Phil and myself. He earned that nickname on account of the fact that several years ago he met a German girl, moved to Germany, then married and made a family with her.
Back when he lived in the UK we used to be close friends. He went to school not far from where I lived at the time so he would often drop in for lunch instructing me to “Put the kettle on lad.” He made us laugh because he always asked so many questions as if he was on a never ending quest for knowledge. But unlike most people his age, he didn’t care for controversy or gossip and instead steered clear of any unfolding dramas. In many ways that set him aside from others in the large group that we socialized in.
One such example of his unruffled approach to life was when, back in 1994, we were out driving in my beat up old Fiat 126, a tiny car that had a habit of losing it’s wheels. Ordinarily I would know when the wheel was about to fall off because the steering would start to vibrate. At that point I would stop the car and either myself or my passenger would jump out to tighten up the wheel nuts. However, on one occasion after a drive out to the beach, we were heading back when Andy calmly asked, “Hey, isn’t that your wheel?” Sure enough, as I began to exit a roundabout one of the wheels had come off the car and Andy spotted it as it made its escape.
Since those times we drifted apart as people often do. He moved to Germany, married Petra, and started a family. Â In short, life happened.
So when Phil and Kerry-anne were planning their wedding Phil sent Andy an invitation expecting to receive a polite response explaining that he wouldn’t be able to come. However, much to our surprise, Andy accepted the invitation.
It wasn’t long after that when he got back in touch with me via this blog. He expressed some regret at how we had drifted apart, but I told him that I believe great friendships are rarely lost, they just get a little dusty sometimes. After that it didn’t take long to shake off the dust and soon be laughing again like old friends do.
When he came over for the wedding we spent some time with one another and on the morning of his final day here we arranged to have me pick him up from his grandmothers house. As he walked down her pathway dragging what looked like Europe’s biggest suitcase, he began laughing at the fact that it was going to be near impossible to pack it into my 2 seater MG. “Do you think you’ll ever have a normal car?” he sarcastically asked as we both pushed and squeezed it into the trunk.
From there we went on a drive following the routes we had done so many times in the past. We recounted some of the funny stories that we shared and the incidents that somehow always seemed to involve either cars or girls, and occasionally both.
We drove around Birkenhead Park, then to the old church and Henry’s old house where many a late night was had. I took him by the plot where Ed’s house once stood. The large victorian home where I had once lived, and where I met Andy for the first time, was demolished a couple of years back and in it’s place there are two new houses, a stark reminder that life moves on.
We also stopped by his old house and parked outside for a few moments while he quietly took a the mental journey back in time. I think he was putting his life in context as he looked out at that old familiar house. I’d not known Andy to be a sentimental guy, but he had an almost wistful tone as he said quietly to himself more than me, “That tree used to be smaller.” – Such things often remind us how quickly time is passing. Of course I don’t know, but maybe that’s what Andy was thinking.
That evening Phil and I drove Andy to the airport. We talked about visiting him in Stuttgart once the whirlwind of his new baby had subsided. Andy had talked so highly of Stuttgart while he was with us that we wanted to see if it really was as good as he made it sound. Maybe it is, but I think maybe what made Stuttgart so great for Andy is the fact that there he had family, a wife who loved him, and two small children who called him Papa.
Andy was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis some years ago. His outlook was good, he told me himself that doctors said he had at least 20 years left to enjoy. But doctors don’t make promises they can’t keep, and sometimes life has other plans. Andy died last night as a result of health complications caused by the MS.
So in the coming days I imagine that we will indeed go to Stuttgart to see Andy, only this trip is not the one we planned in the car. But even though we’ll be traveling with heavy hearts, I find a great deal of comfort in the fact that we all got to spend time together this summer in such happy and relaxed circumstances. While we didn’t realize that was the last time we would see Andy, I’m not unhappy with thinking about that as the time we got to reconnect with our old friend before we have to say goodbye forever.
Auf Wiedersehen Andy.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 23, 2007 at 10:53 am
Simon,
That’s a lovely post. Sorry to hear you’ve lost a dear friend.
P
Wrote the following comment on Nov 23, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Hi Simon, so sorry to hear of Andy’s death. I hope that you find Stuttgart the amazing place that Andy loved.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 23, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Oh Simon. :( It sucks that your friend is gone. I’m glad you have such good, happy memories of him.
My heart goes out to his family. A big hug for all of you.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 23, 2007 at 9:24 pm
That’s really terrible. I’m very sorry for your loss.. very sorry for his wife and kids- I cant imagine the shock and pain they must be going through.
will of course pray for them.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 26, 2007 at 5:31 am
Ten years ago I was widowed, with young children. Here’s what I learned: while my husband left a lasting impression on my children, by virtue of genes, and early childhood experiences; what has been especially important has been the relationship his friends have maintained with them. My children know they can call “Uncle Joey” and he will be there for them; or “Uncle George”, or “Uncle Norman”…you get the picture. So, be an “Uncle Simon” for Andy’s kids. When they need stories about their father; be the one who has stories they can be proud of; be the one they can call…when they want to feel connected…and if they don’t call, find a way to contact them. Don’t let them not know the people who mattered to their father. Sometimes, all we have in life, is our stories. You are the best story teller I know -honor Andy with your stories to his children.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 26, 2007 at 4:11 pm
“friendships are rarely lost, they just get a little dusty sometimes”.
How true, life does tend to take over and time soon slips by…
Personally I’m so grateful for that ‘last’ weekend we had to share with and to catch up with Andy (it was my wedding he came over for).
By allowing us to ‘dust off’ our friendship and basically continue from where we left off has kinda added to the sentimentality of the wedding weekend for me. It was such a pleasure to have to the opportunity for Kerry-Anne to meet Andy and in hindsight for him to come all the way from Germany to attend and give us that ‘last weekend’ is the best wedding present he could have given.
It was an privilege to know Andy. Although he will be missed I’m sure, in time, the sorrow of his passing will be replaced by the joy of our shared experiences and adventures.
Good bye good friend, gone but never to be forgotten!!! Good times!!! Good memories!!!
Wrote the following comment on Nov 26, 2007 at 10:05 pm
This is beautiful Simon, thanks for sharing this.
Were all so sad about Andy xx
Wrote the following comment on Nov 26, 2007 at 10:42 pm
Simon you were so lucky to have spent time with him so recently. Although it’s a long time since I last saw him the memories seem so vivid. Such a lovely guy. You explain him so well.
The house where he lived in Moreton is now my sisters house. She bought it from his parents about 4 years ago. There are so many memories of him there. Even just things like an old tool kit that was left behind in the shed with his name in it! Every time I go there i will think of him.
What a great time we all had in the youth group in the church all going through our teen years together. I’m so proud to say I was a friend of his.
Andy you will never be forgotten. x
Wrote the following comment on Nov 27, 2007 at 6:53 am
a great write up on Andy, sorry for your loss
Tony
Wrote the following comment on Nov 27, 2007 at 10:09 am
Thank you Simon for writing this, I’m really touched by it. It’s great to read about the things you remember about Andy and I’m so glad that he was able to see you this summer, he really enjoyed it. And although we miss him like mad we know He’s having a great party in heaven now!
Wrote the following comment on Nov 27, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Simon that was very moving. I too was thrilled to see Andy at Phil’s wedding. Andy and I worked together for years at the conference centre in Moreton and I have lots of fond memories of our time together. I loved Andy’s dry sence of humour, he made me laugh so much. I would like to get in touch with Andy’s parent’s if anyone has any details? My mum and dad were very close to Brian and Sue and they too are upset at this news. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Petra and her lovely family and also to his brother Simon and his family and Sue and Brian.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 27, 2007 at 12:45 pm
I couldn’t believe the news as Phil told me “I don’t know how to put this, so I’m just going to come out and say it….Andy Knight has passed away” I had just put my own children to bed, my wife (Sarah who also knew him well) was away on business. In that moment of shock I couldn’t return downstairs and spent time just watching the kids as the fell asleep. How lucky I am I thought as I reflected on Andy’s memory his family, parents and brother. I’m sure they and we, all recognise how fortunate we all were to have Andy as part of our lives, some of us only a small part, some of us a much larger one.
My memories of Andy from our youth are somehow more vivid now. To me he was one of lifes real good guys, he would never impose himself or his views heavy handedly considering he was so quick and bright. He maintained a great deal of dignity and humility though of course we were lads and I remember supposed sleep-overs that where nothing more than nights of crying with stifled laughter as we discussed God, the world, girls and the rights and wrongs of the Boost tagline ” Slightly rippled with a flat underside” (probably not in that order). He had a great sense of humour but never caused trouble for anyone, and though he could appear shy he loved people. I thank God that I, Sarah and my friends knew him and met again at Phil’s wedding, and that he had the assurance of his salvation.
We will remember his family in our prayers, may God be their comfort and guide and remind us that life can really seem too short. Goodbye Andy enjoy the party I’ll see you there, and share some more stories.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 27, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Simon, thank you for setting up this tribute for Andrew our son. The many contributions are a great comfort to Sue and myself. The funeral/thanksgiving service will be held in Korntal near Stuttgart on Friday 30 November 1300 UK time. Our contact email is: knights[at]nowe-klucze.net
Wrote the following comment on Nov 27, 2007 at 6:05 pm
I never knew Andy all that well, he wasn’t really in my peer group, I just remember him being a really nice guy with a very dry sense of humour. I remember one night him asking Simon’s neighbour why he called his cat Ginge :-) I also remember his Dad lending me a really expensive book and losing it, Sorry Brian.
I guess as we get older, this is something we will all experience more and more, and is a reminder to grasp life and make every minute count.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 27, 2007 at 6:48 pm
sorry for your loss, Simon. Life does indeed seem too short. I really liked Susan’s advice. She hit on the key to keeping our loved ones alive and beside us always: memories and the wonderful stories they can invoke.
God bless you and Andy’s family as well.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 27, 2007 at 7:45 pm
firstly my heart goes out to petra and the children, sue and brian, simon and jutta and to everyone who knew and loved andy.
i do feel truly honored to have known him. life is a funny thing but i guess for those that know, it does work out for good in the end.
thinking of andy takes me back to being 16 again, and friendships you make at that age have a funny way of having a lifelong impact and i guess help shape you into who you are now.
i don’t really know what to say other than i will endeavour to pray for petra and their children. i thank god that he is taking care of you and andy.
thanks simon for this opportunity and i’ll be thinking of you all on friday.
xxxxxxxxx
ps boom shake the room!!!!!
Wrote the following comment on Nov 28, 2007 at 11:14 am
Thanks Simon for such beautiful words.
I will miss Andy so much, we only spoke on Skype a month or so ago and we never mentioned his health – I too believed he had 20 + years ahead of him.
Your writing brings back memories, and tears; of Eds house, of places, and laughter.
Andy had so many of the personal attributes that I aspired to , and still do, but I know I will never be half the man Andy was.
A truly sad occasion
God Bless
Chris
Wrote the following comment on Nov 28, 2007 at 9:23 pm
When I heard the news of Andy death I was gutted. It doesn’t seem like that long ago that we were all squashed in a mini bus going out for a day out in North Wales without a care in the world. We had many a good times which Andy and Simon were a part off. I cant believe that those days were twelve to thirteen years ago.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Brian and sue, Simon and Jutta and most of all to Petra and the children. My heart goes out to you all at this time. I will be thinking of you on Friday. x
Wrote the following comment on Nov 29, 2007 at 8:34 am
What a lovely tribute Simon. I have no doubt that sharing treasured memories of time spent with Andy is a great comfort to Petra, the children, Brian, Sue, Simon and Jutta.
We live in Australia and at times like this feel very isolated.
You have brought Andy to us and for that we thank you.
We will be with you all in spirit.
God Bless
Marion, Bradley & Lizle …Andy’s Cousins
Wrote the following comment on Nov 29, 2007 at 9:55 am
Hi Simon, thank you for this tribute to Andy.
At this time when we are thinking about Andy,
and in our own ways saying goodbye
it brings more than one tear as I read about him on this page.
Andy loved quality; second best would simply not do, not just with material things, but also with friendship, the one he chose as his wife, wanting the best for his kids. I’m glad he got to see some of you guys again, he didn’t give up on those friendships.
Life didn’t always go the way he had planned,
but he didn’t give up, there was always a way forward.
As a kid, this not giving up meant he would pester me until he got what he wanted, usually he wanted simply to get a reaction from me, this part of his character I believe meant not giving in to the illness in his body, he rarely talked about it, reducing his comment to I slept well the last few nights or something similar.
I loved my ‘little’ brother and will miss him…….
He went suddenly which was a real shock; coming to terms with this has not been easy. I do believe that God will look after those who Andy left behind in particular Petra and the kids (Sara and Sami, they are really great kids).
I thank God that Andy (and Petra) didn’t have to live with the physical degeneration due to MS. He is now in a far better place with his saviour.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 29, 2007 at 5:42 pm
I look back with fondness at the great times and the great people I shared my teenage years with. Thank you to Andy for being a part of that. One of the good guys with whom I have nothing but happy memories.
We go through life and meet many people along the way. However, your true friends are those that no matter how long it’s been, it feels like no time at all when you do get back intouch.
So happy so many of you were able to share such a special summer.
Love to all of Andy’s family and friends at this time x x x
Wrote the following comment on Nov 29, 2007 at 7:20 pm
We remember Andy with great fondness.He had a pleasant and pleasing personality. The group of young people that hung around together from the church in his teens would often frequent our home. Andy was always a pleasure to have, as were the others. We are saddened at the news.
Petra, Brian, Sue, Simon and Jutta, you are in our thoughts and much in our prayers at this time. As difficult as the days ahead may be, we know that you know that God will bring you all through. God has him in his keeping. We have him in our hearts.
With love,
Phil and Mary Smith
P.S. Thank you Simon for this opportunity to share.
Wrote the following comment on Nov 30, 2007 at 7:04 pm
I’m in shock – even though I’ve not kept in touch with many old friends from the Wirral Christian Centre I still like to find out from friends how others are. To find out this news. It’s so sad he was so lovely….
I know he is with his Maker, so my prayers go to his family, and extended family. He will not easily be forgotten!!
With love Ruth Patten (Instone)
Wrote the following comment on Dec 1, 2007 at 5:19 am
To be honest I couldn’t picture Andy when Rachel sent me the email but as soon as I started talking to my brother and other people who went to wcc it all came back to me what a nice kid he was and Im sure he grew up to be a wonderful husband and father.
It was quite sad to see the photo of him it makes it all real when you see a face.(he didn’t change much)
my heart goes out to the family love Amy
Wrote the following comment on Dec 4, 2007 at 3:36 am
We are all shocked and saddened by this news. As a family we all remember Andy, from myself as an 11 year old child looking up to him to my mother and father remembering him as a vibrant part of the youth club. Our hearts go out to you all and you are very much in all of our prayers. God be with all of you in this difficult time.
All our love.
The Gould family.
Wrote the following comment on Dec 5, 2007 at 10:30 am
I find it wonderful and amazing to hear from people all over the world sharing their memories of Andy and caring so much for our family – THANK YOU!
It was also great to see Simon Jones, Henry, Phil, Andy Long and Gloria at the funeral. We spent the morning of 30.11.2007 looking at photographs and reminiscing “Old Times”.
After the funeral we (that’s everybody who wanted to) were invited for coffee by the church Petra goes to and there was more time for fellowship.
In the evening the “boys” went into town, visiting the christmas market – had Andy been there he would have taken them!!!
P.S.: We saw the bottle of Malibu and the cigar you left on Andy’s grave!!!
A few days after Andy’s death my husband, Simon, wrote this song, he sang it at the funeral, and I wanted to share it with you … (well, the text anyway!)
GOODBYE FOR NOW
Some remember you in your childhood,
Some remember you as a teenage boy,
Some knew you as you grew into a man.
One knew you as husband,
Lover and friend,
Two knew you as Daddy, some a son.
Goodbye Andy, goodbye for now,
We’ll see you later in Heaven,
Though we’ll miss you here on the earth.
Some knew you as brother,
A grandson, or a cousin,
Some as part of the family or at church.
Some knew you as a neighbour,
Some as a good friend,
Others as you studied or at work.
Goodbye Andy, goodbye for now,
We’ll see you later in Heaven,
Though we’ll miss you here on the earth.
We all have our fond memories,
Of times together with you,
You have a place within our hearts.
Goodbye Andy, goodbye for now,
We’ll see you later in Heaven,
Though we’ll miss you here on the earth.
We may not really understand,
Why you have gone now at this time,
But we can rest assured in knowing:
That you and yours are safe,
Held in God’s hands.
Goodbye Andy, goodbye for now,
We’ll see you later in Heaven,
Though we’ll miss you here on the earth,
We will miss you here on the earth.
Simon Knight
26.11.2007
Wrote the following comment on Dec 21, 2007 at 1:44 pm
If that’s not a good enough excuse to stay in touch with old friends then i don’t know what is, you never know how long you’ll have them for so cherish them always!
Sorry to hear of your loss!