St. Valentines day is a modern miracle of marketing. A ‘Hallmark holiday’ that conveniently traps all couples into making some kind of gesture of ‘love’ to one another, no matter how contrived on meretricious that gesture might be. It’s a celebrated exploitation of unashamed commercialism that seeks to profit from what is essentially a romantic requirement. As you can tell, I’m not a big fan of St. Valentines day.
My problem with this particular ‘Hallmark holiday‘ is that the giving of whatever gift you choose to give your partner is largely expected and is therefore somewhat devalued. The sentiments behind giving a box of chocolates, a bunch of flowers, and a card with a loving message would feel more genuine on almost any other day of the year in my opinion. Saying “I love you” on St. Valentines is all to often as heartfelt as saying the Lords prayer when you have absolutely no interest in talking to God.
But while the message of love in a valentines day gesture is reduced, the negative connotations to any inaction is greatly increased. It must surely be impossible to forget that February 14th is St Valentines day, so if you don’t get your partner a card then this isn’t an oversight rather than a choice, and one that will have a far greater impact than the box of chocolates or the flowers ever could.
Of course, there will be some who will dismiss my negative opinions of St Valentines day as ‘sour grapes’ or ‘mean spirited.’ But as far as I see it, there are 364 better opportunities in a year to tell the person you love that you love them. If that love is genuine then why not take back February 14th from Hallmark and instead use this day to celebrate the fact that you don’t need a card company to tell you when you should to say “I love you.”
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Yep, so true…. but being a marketer myself, you gotta take advantage of it! So many fall for it, so what the hell, market to them, lol! Now that being said, I just made my Valentine a CD. I am not going to use my hard-earned cash to fuel the Valentine’s Day hype.
I did get my Valentine’s day flowers yesterday from my sweetie. He tried to stay a step ahead of the game and send them yesterday.
I admit that I fell for the sweet charm of Valentine’s day this year but that not so coincidentally runs paralell with a rediscovery phase of my 12 year relationship.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 2:25 pm
It’s true, Valentine’s Day has been over-comercialized. So have most holidays though, and the world (or America, especially) needs something to celebrate between New Year’s and St. Patrick’s Day (which I bet you think is a genuine cause for celebration ^_~).
And I agree with the notion that love shouldn’t be celebrated (only) once a year. It’s the same with Mother’s Day, or Thanksgiving. We should love (and express it to) our moms every day, we should be thankful every day… but I think the original message (that perhaps got distorted along the way) is that we need a day to represent Love. It shouldn’t be about the presents or the expensive dinner… but rather about the fact that someone loves you.
To end, it is mostly the U.S. who makes such a big fuss, not only of Valentine’s, but of every single holiday. It wasn’t like this when I lived in Ecuador. Sometimes I feel like each holiday is a vine (a la Tarzan) in which the economy hangs. If they missed a single one, the entire market would crash to the ground. We go from New Year’s to Valentine’s, to St. Patrick’s, to Easter, to Mother’s Day, to Father’s Day, to 4th of July, to Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas…
Pretty crazy (and a bit off tangent), no? ^_~
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I think that love is the ultimate thing we all search and hope for. Surely money and social status, for example, are important, too. But you can’t say that anything else comes close to love in its no. 1 spot.
Yes, Valentines is commercialised and overdone. But so is Christmas – should we therefore stop it? Why shouldn’t we have a “Christmas Day of Love”?
And isn’t love not really about mutual respect and recognition? So if the other person values Valentine’s Day then we surely can’t deny him/her a card or a little pressie.
I think the way how the Valentine’s Industry portraits V-Day to us sucks, but not the thought of having a “Christmas Day of Love”.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 2:56 pm
If valentine’s day was a real holiday we would have the day off of work.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I don’t think I over commercialized Valentine’s Day…I just sent an e-mail to my husband, my son, and a few friends that said Happy Valentine’s Day. I don’t believe the commercialization would happen if people didn’t buy into it, why don’t we all ban commercialization from our lives and see what happens – come on, tell them “everybody’s doing it!”
I stopped allowing marketers tell me what to do a long time ago, I live on a limited budget, I have 7 grandchildren and I do not charge anything – I am a marketer’s nightmare.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Hey…that was weird…my name was “Snyner” in my last comment!
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Even though you anticipated it, I am going to be the one to call you a Scrooge.
“You Valentine Scrooge!!”
Simon, you need to get laid my friend!.. (within the boundary of marriage of course, as I don’t want to be held accountable for these words on judgement day).
Yes!! Saint Valentines day is a commercially monopolized enterprise, and yes, we should show our loved one’s love the other 364 days of the year. But, I am glad for a day that is specifically set aside for the celebration of romance, particularly since a life with two jobs and three kids, often makes this a challenge. So, though I understand its currently dubious roots in commercialism, I embrace the day (even as I embrace my wife) and I remember the works of courageous saint, who, as legend has it, defied an emperor’s ban on marriage and secretly bound lovers in matrimony.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Actually Luli, I don’t much much into St Paddy’s day either. I’m not Irish and I don’t much like Guinness, but it’s not as saccharin and fake feeling as Valentines if you ask me. Valentines is for many people about doing your romantic duty, St Paddy’s day is about going to an Irish pub and listening to someone play the fiddle in a band while drinking Guinness. It’s a day that encourages friendship in a way that Valentines never could.
Now, St George’s day (April 23rd) is a day I like to at least observe in gesture. My country national day should, if you ask me, be nationally observed in the same way as St Paddy’s.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Valentine’s Day… where pink floods every aisle… It is an overcommercialized holiday, and love should be shown every other day of the year- BUT, I think the reminder is good. Personally, I think it would be great if people could show each other how much they loved each other on a regular basis, but that doesnt seem to happen. I think without valentine’s and without anniversaries, there would be many couples (especially those who’ve been married awhile) who’d go years without taking time to stop and show each other they care. Sometimes people become so used to their partner, they take them for granted and forget to put time and effort into the romance of the relationship. Valentine’s forces them to do so. Granted, the expectation of a gift does take away from the surprise of receiving one, but I think its better then not receiving one at all- and just because something is expected doesnt necessarily make it any less valuable. SO I honestly wish it werent this way, but I don’t know any way to remedy it…so I love Valentine’s Day!
Now, I do have a few dislikes with what arises out of the holiday. As a single girl I don’t like that Valentine’s is a time for many single women to whine and complain because they have no valentine or go out in groups proving that yes indeed they are ‘secure’ in their singleness; BUT I still think it serves a good purpose as mentioned above.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 14, 2007 at 9:42 pm
First – I think Valentines day was made for men. Reason – men can not remember their own spouses/girlfriends birthdays or anniverseries. With one specific day there should be no way men can forget. Just like Xmas in which you still have to pick out your own gift and watch him pay for it with his credit card. How romantic.
Second – 364days a year thing is bullshit. I have not personally experenced or seen someone giving to another because they want to. It is used as a defense for those who did not get anything.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 15, 2007 at 12:55 am
Missy, how terribly cynical of you. I’m quite capable of remembering my girlfriends birthday and able to buy her a gift for Christmas that she will love.
As for never experiencing or seeing someone give to another because they want to, how very sad. I see and experience it often.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 15, 2007 at 2:11 am
Missy, having such a low opinion of all men to start with hardly gets things off to a good start surely? I to have seen and done the whole 364 other days thing.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 15, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Spot on article, this creeping commercialisation could be applied to most aspects of daily life..
I think Cadbury’s Roses started in by getting everyone to buy Roses chocolates to say thanks. Since then everythings gone down the pan….
Great site btw.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 15, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Some good comments there folks. Let me just say something for the record – I am NOT against romance or shows of affection at anytime and I am not suggesting that Valentines day is a complete waste of time in of itself, I just think that it gives rise to a lot of insincere gesturing that does nothing but line the pockets of the companies that exploit this romantic requirement.
Anthony! I can’t believe you said that! LOL!! – Hey everyone. Go check out Anthony’s responsive post about Valentines day on his blog (which is well worth bookmarking btw).
Embrace Your Lover, It’s Valentines Day!
Wrote the following comment on Feb 16, 2007 at 12:36 am
Personally, I had a lovely Valentine’s Day – full of surprises and uninhibited conversation. Wish all of you could say the same!
I did have two Hallmark Cards… one said: Men are like chocolate. Avoid the nutty ones. And the ones somebody else tried and put back.
The other said: Red Rover, Red Rover, send cute, financially stable emotionally mature men right over.
Not exactly the sap you credited Hallmark with. Just girls having fun.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 16, 2007 at 12:46 am
The men are like choclate line reminds me of a fridge magnet posh has that reads “Life’s too short to dance with ugly men.” :-)
Wrote the following comment on Feb 16, 2007 at 1:41 am
I got a really lovely card that read, ‘if meeting you wasn’t the best thing that ever happened to me, falling in love with you is’
Wrote the following comment on Feb 16, 2007 at 1:43 am
That’s lovely if she wrote it, I’ll puke if that wasn’t Will! :-)
Wrote the following comment on Feb 16, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Simon, as its not Valentines day anymore, can I tell you that I love you :-D
Wrote the following comment on Feb 16, 2007 at 4:08 pm
God hates fags Wilvo! :-)
Wrote the following comment on Feb 16, 2007 at 9:19 pm
No Valentine’s Day here–we were all stuck in our houses because of the icy slushy freezing rain storm that coated the roads with tractionless slick. Still, I got tulips the next night, which was sweet :-)
Still, I told Michael that Valentine’s day is just too much to celebrate majorly with our anniversary around the corner in March. But then his mom told him that not doing much was wrong! Just can’t win against all the commercialism I guess.
Wrote the following comment on Feb 22, 2007 at 9:07 am
I tell my wife every day that I love her, and I tell my two children (they’re 4, and 4 months). I don’t think it devalued if its genuine. I’m inclined to agree with Si (for once) on the St Valentines Day overkill. I sent flowers to my Gill, and a card, because I wouldn’t see her that day as I was working away.
Like some, I too don’t see why society should tell me that on a particular day in the year I need to make more of an effort. I make an effort every single day. Anthony I liked your re-cap on the traditions of St Valentine, but ask people, just a handful how many actually know that story, and then someone can rightly tell me that the day hasn’t become over-commercial!