Why does the President of the United States give a State of the Union address? It seems like a totally pointless exercise to me, where the tradition of standing to applause is kept with no real regard as to whether the President is being truthful or in fact just spouting a crock of shit.

The State of the Yawnion is just an excuse for a jolly ol’ political ‘knees-up’ really isn’t it? I mean if the President was really going to talk about the State of the Union wouldn’t he also talk about the fact that the economy is struggling, “the war on turrr” has turned to shit, and the cost of that war in financial terms alone in spiraling out of control. Wouldn’t he have to mention something about the republicans getting whooped in the midterms?

Oh sure, we’ll hear all the good stuff (though I’m struggling to think what that might be), but I’m just thinking that when the President is obviously such a ‘lame duck’ and the union is in the trouble it is, I would have thought the President might just as well throw his arms up in the air and say “ya know what, things are pretty fucked up right now.”

It’s too much to ask of course, but wouldn’t it be cool if Mr Bush actually stood up and told the truth, the real state of the union. Would America get behind an honest leader I wonder? If he admitted mistakes and failings would that be more effective than simply reeling off a bunch of punchy sound-bytes that require a standing ovation every 36 seconds?

When YouTube is tomorrow full of the Presidents gaffs and muddlement over the English language, will anyone stop to think how sad it is that the buzz isn’t one of admiration of how the President stood up and told the truth? Surely an honest State of the Union speech now would be one that history remembers.

“My fellow Americans. Good news! Everything is fine in the Union today. Trust me, this time I’m telling the truth. We’re winning the war on turrr, the war in Iraq, and the war on drugs. We’re not leaving a child behind. We’re saving babies. We’re doing out bit to save the ecosystem and those fluffy polar bears. We’re breaking our addiction to foreign oil. It’s all great and y’all should be proud to be an American.”

By next week no one will remember or even care what Mr Bush said in his annual dance in front of the gathered clappers. But for now it’s show-time baby, nothing more, nothing less. So everyone, one more time lets rise to our feet and have a round of applause.

Full transcript of 2007 SOTU
President relents to new reality
Flat SOTU address still Earns requisite applause
Bush Urges Congress to Embrace Iraq Policy
Bush’s SOTU: Nixon Would Have Been Proud
Lame duck soup
The silliest speech in the union
Official 2007 SOTU Ovation Stats
[Video] Jon Stewart’s State of the Union preview
[Video] State of the Union cartoon