The Easter Bunny rose from the dead today. Well okay, the easter bunny didn’t actually rise from the dead today, but on this day we remember his resurrection when he became the first and only bunny to hatch from an egg, right?

Holy Easter egg

Okay, so it turns out that the Easter Bunny was never actually crucified and chocolate eggs have very little connection to the religious reason behind this holiday weekend that marks the miraculous resurrection of Christ.

Nevertheless it strikes me that there is a significant amount of brand confusion between chocolate eggs and Jesus coming back to life. So with that in mind I had an idea that I thought might help the Christians get their man back into the public eye… Behold the chocolate Jesus!

Rather than pointless eggs and bunnies, Christian folk could give their friends a chocolate Jesus instead. Variations might include the Good Friday version where Christ is affixed to a candy crucifix, or the perhaps more palatable, but no less tasty, Christ without the cross.

Children and adults alike, who might not ordinarily give Jesus a second thought as they go about their Easter weekend activities, would now have pause to think about the risen Lord as they contemplate what part of his anatomy to bite off first.

Indeed, choclatising Jesus in the same way his followers Christianised the pagan festival of Eastre (the Great Mother Goddess of the Saxon people in Northern Europe) is surely a fantastic way to put the subject of Jesus Christ back on centre stage of this increasingly secularised holiday weekend.

Yet when I suggested this idea to Christian friends of mine it was curiously met with looks of disdain and outright offense. “I can’t talk to you about Christ like this.” Said one of my friends before abruptly ending our conversation. Another told me the idea was “profoundly distasteful.”

But seriously, what’s the big deal? Why is the idea of a chocolate Jesus more offensive than a regular Jesus? How come it’s acceptable to cast a crucifix in gold but not in candy?

I guess I don’t really care. I like eating chocolate and I’m happy to relax over a four day weekend for any reason. But I do find it somewhat confusing as to why the idea of a chocolate Jesus is met with such utter derision by the very people who decry the removal of Christ from Christmas.

Now, if I really wanted to offend people, then I would have suggested something far worse. Just imagine the outcry when the crucified chocolate easter bunnies hit the store! Eat your heart out Glenn Close.

Hiding Easter eggs

The Pagan origins of Easter
Happy Eastre