I have a friend with a problem that they’re clearly unaware of. It seems to be getting worse and I find myself presented with a tough question; Should I bring it up with them, or is it kinder to just overlook it?
Catherine (not her real name) is a bright and attractive girl who oozes confidence yet tempers any possible swagger with a genuine empathy for those around her. She loves her fast-paced city life and is enjoying success in her chosen field. In short she’s great, and I’m lucky enough to count her among my friends. However, she has a condition that I’m finding increasingly hard to deal with. She has I.B.S… Irritable Buzzword Syndrome.
Conversations with Catherine used to be fun and meandering exchanges that could flow in any direction or gather around a subject like bubbles in a bathtub. These days, however, the corporate city life she so obviously adores is having an effect on my friend.
Her I.B.S can stink up a conversation faster than a fart in a taxi cab. Buzzwords fill the conversation then linger like annoying toilet floaters seemingly impervious to any attempts to flush them away.
The unfortunate condition used to be confined to conversations about her job, but it would seem that the I.B.S is spreading. Even the briefest of chats can leave me feeling like I’ve watched a subtitled French film. Sometimes I can only make sense of a sentence because of the context; on its own it would be pure nonsense.
So what should I do about my friend and her I.B.S? I’m not sure that a quiet word in her ear would be heard unless it was itself a buzzword, and I’m not well versed in the corporate double-talk of her excessively wordy world.
Perhaps an intervention is called for, a forced removal to a farm in deepest Wales where she could be deprogramed then later returned to everyday society. Or maybe there’s a middle way, an option that won’t potentially alienate my friend or worsen her condition?
I’ve searched the web for natural remedies, plants or fruit extracts that might alleviate the situation. But perhaps there is a deeper issue here, one that cannot be cured in stealth mode and instead has to be confronted by my friend herself. Maybe there is a some kind of twelve step program she can join or a local support group for recovering buzzwordaholics? I just don’t know. All I know is that its getting harder and harder to listen as my friend fouls up our chatter with her Irritable Buzzword Syndrome.
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Unsuckit.com : ‘Un suck’ terrible business jargon
BuzzWhack : Dedicated to demystifying buzzwords
Intergrated go-forward buzzword generator
Ridiculous business jargon dictionary
Doing life the hard way
What is I.B.S really?
→ GET BEFOREiFORGET BY EMAIL, iPHONE, OR PODCAST
Wrote the following comment on Aug 31, 2010 at 2:23 am
If I’m Catherine; please whisk me away ASAP to that farm in Wales; cuz at the end of the day….I know where I’d want to be. Soaking all those executive buzzwords away in that tub full of bubbles.
Wrote the following comment on Aug 31, 2010 at 2:48 am
does she read your blog? i’d like some examples! just curious – i’m fascinated by this.
Wrote the following comment on Aug 31, 2010 at 3:06 am
If ‘Catherine’ reads this then I guess she’ll figure out this is about her, right?
Wrote the following comment on Aug 31, 2010 at 10:34 am
Hey Simon, I don’t really have time to respond to this right now, let me go to my mood room, do some blue sky thinking and calendarize some time later this week when I can give you my thoughts. Right, I’m off to get some vision optimisation apparatus.
Wrote the following comment on Aug 31, 2010 at 11:56 am
@ Marcie – Some examples. Well she has said that we should “calendarize” a time to chat on the phone, then told me at the start of that call that she has “a hard stop” at a certain time. It turns out that just means she needs to go by that time. Those are the two most recent ones I can recall, but her language is peppered with this BS. I think the reason why it bugs me to hear her talk like this, is because she’s way cooler and way smarter than her I.B.S makes her sound.
Oh and hey Marcie, your little picture no longer shows up on your comments here because you are using a new email address. If you go to gravatar.com you can add the new address to your account and your smiley face will return to your comments ;-)
@ Shannon – She doesn’t read my blog, but if she did then yes, I suspect she will realise this is about her right away. But maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe she will see that there’s a real ‘disconnect’ in her ‘two way communications’ that has a ‘negative gain on a go forward basis.’
Wrote the following comment on Aug 31, 2010 at 2:49 pm
You know Simon you have to get on the bus here and realise that your friend is maximizing her growth potential by leveraging her knowledge capital in the organic mindspace occupied by the modern glocalised body for out the box thinkers.
Perhaps its time to deep dive your own dialogue diet and maximize your message though-put before you get Dixie-Chicked. I say put down your slaptop and set aside your desk-rage because there is a real negative upside to this slacktivist ‘blahging’ ethic.
It’s time to strategically contemplate your onward soft-skills my friend.
Wrote the following comment on Aug 31, 2010 at 3:27 pm
I deal with people who talk like this all the time and it drives me crazy.
-Love Max’s comment btw.
Wrote the following comment on Aug 31, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Anybody who speaks in clichés and buzz words get unfriended by me. Buy her a book called “Fad Surfing in the board room” and tell her she should write the sequel. When she works it out she will be as sick as a parrot.
Wrote the following comment on Sep 1, 2010 at 1:27 am
Oh man I laughed so hard at the “stink up a taxi cab” quote. I.B.S… genius!
Wrote the following comment on Sep 1, 2010 at 8:14 am
I wonder why she has suddenly began talking like this. A new job, new friend? There must be a reason surely.
Great piece by the way. Got me laughing and thinking of all the bullshit speakers I know too.
Wrote the following comment on Sep 1, 2010 at 12:01 pm
@ Roffe – Catherine got a new job not so long ago and it’s in the kind of profession where the use (and overuse) of buzzwords and phrases would not be uncommon.
I am excited for her new found enthusiasm and energy that can be attributed in no small part to this new job, but as I say, the I.B.S is a little annoying.
In many respects I have experienced this before when friends of mine have become born-again Christians. They get all fired up about their ‘new life’ and often start using terms and language that us grubby heathen types would never use (Have washed in the blood of the lamb?).
In those cases the new found enthusiasm and ‘on-fire-for-God’ attitude often subsides when reality stamps its authority on their life once more. However, I have seen people completely desert their old friends for their new found friends in the holy huddle. I’m just hoping that Catherine won’t do the same, but I’m also old enough and ugly enough to know that people come and people go and that you just have to enjoy them while they’re around.
Wrote the following comment on Sep 1, 2010 at 2:53 pm
People use buzzwords to make themselves sound smart. I find the more buzzwords a person uses the less competent at their job they are.
Wrote the following comment on Sep 1, 2010 at 10:47 pm
Ah Simon, you do make me laugh. :-)
Wrote the following comment on Sep 8, 2010 at 8:47 pm
I think, Simon, that some people just get so into the buzzwords of their jobs that they don’t realize that it seeps into their daily lives.
I’m a professional copy writer and for years I have battled companies that want to put buzzwords into their communications with customers. It’s hard being an advocate for clear English when there seems to be such a love affair for buzzword blubber.
I hope your chat with ‘Catherine’ goes well.