With the end of the world now postponed to October, perhaps I should not have been surprised when a religious icon appeared to me in the most unexpected of situations.
It’s a sunny autumn afternoon in Melbourne, Australia. The cool afternoon air is filled with the sounds of traffic, sirens, tram bells, and the mêlée of a thousand conversations swirling around and tangling with one another as people negotiate their path through the busy sidewalks.
I’m making my way to a little laneway café called Manchester Press. Its rustic decor is made from recycled machinery and items that look like they might have been salvaged from the former printing press workshop the café is situated in.
Once there I order my usual caffeinated fix: a cappuccino. Australians are pretty serious about their coffee, and as such, living here has cured me of my penchant for whipped cream topped coffees drowned in flavoured syrup.
I take a seat at a wooden bench that was once a large door, then get out my laptop in preparation for a couple of hours of work.
At the table next to me a group of girls are gossiping about some Facebook drama and a girl who “totally should have known that would happen.” I’m curious about what “that” was, but her transgressions are being drowned out by the blend of rap music and coffee machine harmonics.
My cappuccino arrives while I’m searching (fruitlessly) for a wifi network. ‘Ahmed the Second’ and ‘The Comeback Kid’ are interesting network names, but they’re protected by passwords much like the Facebook girl’s transgressions were protected by noise.
I look over at my cappuccino and I’m stopped in my tracks. Holy Mother of God! The Virgin Mary has appeared in my coffee!
I look around me. It feels like this should be shared, but with whom? The server in his red hat, the chattering girls maybe? I look back at the cup, moving in to examine it a little closer. Is the Virgin Mary smiling?
Maybe she’s laughing about the fact that the world didn’t come to a crashing end at the weekend, despite the forecast of an ageing American preacher. I suspect she’s in the know about such things, but as curious as I am, I’m not about to start talking to my coffee.
I snap a few pictures of the drink. I mean, it’s not often that a deity appears in your coffee. I shoot from this angle, and that, which draws sideways glances from a man in a suit sitting at a nearby table.
“The Virgin Mary is in my coffee.” I tell him. He nods and returns to his paper, probably thinking to himself that the world is full of weirdos and he’s in no mood to engage with one today.
I look back at the cup, pick up the sugar. I’m not saying Mary wasn’t a sweet girl, but I like a little lift in my cappuccino. Then I notice that it seems like she is wearing lipstick. Lipstick on the Holy Mother of God? I wouldn’t have expected that.
Maybe she’s loosening up in these more liberal times, and you know what, a smile and a little lippy is working for her. But wait a second, what’s up with her eyes? Is she… surely she’s not… it can’t be! Is the Virgin Mary winking at me?
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Manchester Press
Believers baffled as world doesn’t end
Immaculate confection
Halloween coffee art
Friday evening latte
Wrote the following comment on May 25, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Is it just me or has she got her boobs out too :-) Yeah, its probably just me :-)
Wrote the following comment on May 25, 2011 at 6:28 pm
It’s not just you … she’s a saucy minx :-)
Wrote the following comment on May 25, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Is she winking at you? :P
Wrote the following comment on May 26, 2011 at 1:02 am
I showed a couple of the lads here at my office the picture and they concur with Wilvo. The Virgin Mary has well gone ‘Page 3’ on you there Simon.
Wrote the following comment on May 26, 2011 at 2:31 am
I can see the headline now ‘Virgin Mary flashes knockers at melborne blogger’. This is what religious icons have to resort to these days to get attention, a face on a tablecloth just doesn’t cut it any more :-)
Wrote the following comment on May 26, 2011 at 4:20 am
so funny!
Wrote the following comment on May 26, 2011 at 3:43 pm
BOOBIES!
Wrote the following comment on May 28, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Jesus: So Anthony, in the age between the ages you knew Simon Jones didn’t you?
Anthony: Simon Jones??? Huhhh? The name sounds vaguely familiar, but no, nope, can’t say I knew him.
Jesus: Sure you did. He visited you and your family a few times throughout your life.
Anthony: I don’t know who you’re talking about. Simon Jones?? I mean that’s a pretty common name isn’t it. I mean, “Simon” in England is kind of like “John” or “Robert” in America, and “Jones”, c’mon, how many Jones were there in the world? It was very common I’m sure.
Jesus: Anthony! I am quite certain I saw you hanging around the Simon Jones that was talking smack about my Mom.
Anthony: Talking smack about your Mom?!?! Whoa, hold on, I would never, ever. I mean,.. this Simon you’re talking about talked smack about Mary. Man, what a jerk, I would never even affiliate for a,… I mean that’s your mom. No, no, I don’t know any such Simon. You must have me confused with someone else. I get that a lot. So, it wasn’t me. Nope, don’t know Simon Jones.
Wrote the following comment on May 28, 2011 at 4:44 pm
@ Anthony – I think Mary was the Princess Diana of the holy family. No real importance, but loved by many. In the end she died just like any other mere mortal because in the end that’s all she was. ;-)
And I agree with other commenters who suggest that the mother of God may also be topless. I wonder how many Catholics I would upset if I put a topless, lipstick wearing, winking Virgin Mary on a T Shirt? I could do a double whammy by having ‘Peace be upon her’ in arabic on said T shirt.
Wrote the following comment on May 28, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Simon – I’m often one searching for the Golden Mean, and in relation to Mary, it seems that many of my Protestant friends don’t give her enough respect and consideration for fear of committing idolatry or something like that. On the other hand some Catholics want to elevate her to that status of coredemptrix. I think she deserves profound respect as an excellent example of faith and fidelity, but in the end she is, as you say, a mere mortal.
Regarding your shirt idea, I like the part of peace be upon her in Arabic, but I think for slightly different reasons than you.
Anyways, this actually was a good post, and actually you didn’t talk smack about Mary. I just like judgment day scenarios; it’s part of my neurotic sense of humor.
Wrote the following comment on May 29, 2011 at 11:38 am
@ Anthony – I know your sense of humor well my friend :-)
Wrote the following comment on May 29, 2011 at 11:41 am
I actually think your coffee Mary looks more like the topless Starbucks siren from their original logo.
Wrote the following comment on May 31, 2011 at 1:18 am
I would have loved to be there watching you snap photo’s of your coffee cup. That must have been a sight to see for the rest of the patrons.
I appreciate your posts Anthony.
Rick
Wrote the following comment on May 31, 2011 at 3:16 am
@ Rick – It did indeed get a few glances. But hey, at least I wasn’t talking to it.
@ Anne – Now that you mention it Anne, there is something of a similarity between my Mary and the original Starbuck siren who interestingly had two mermaid tails.
Wrote the following comment on Jul 18, 2011 at 3:07 am
That is some impressive work. For all my time spent schlepping lattes I wish I had that skill to take with me.