My friend Philly is getting married in seven weeks, and I am his ‘best man’ (groomsman). On Friday we had his ‘stag party’ (bachelor party). It was an all day thing with a few of us going out in the day to do cool ‘guy stuff’ then in the evening we went out to a Teppanyaki restaurant for a meal before heading into Liverpool for a few (a lot of) drinks.
We started the day early heading out to a centre where we had a number of activities lined up that included driving argocats, hovercrafts, archery, and paint-balling.
The first event was driving argocats which are 8 wheeled off road vehicles operated by levers. We had a brief familiarization session in which I utterly sucked, managing to drive the thing into the bushes twice! After that we had to drive the argocat around a course that after a couple of weeks was now extremely muddy. The course also included a relatively steep drop into a body of water.
I was somewhat concerned that having sucked so badly in the familiarization session the ‘instructor’ was showing a little too much faith in setting me free on the larger more challenging course. But he assured me that it was entirely safe and that argocats are impossible to roll.
With Philly’s brother, David, as my passenger I set off on my first lap of the course, all seemed to go well and it was actually a lot of fun. As I began my second lap I once more approached the steep drop with into a muddy swamp. With a laps worth of confidence I headed toward the swamp. As I did David yelled “Slow down!”
Realizing I was perhaps going a little too fast, and that I needed to be able to make the right hand corner in the swamp I pulled hard on the right hand brakes. This put the argocat into a perilous sideways motion forcing it to lift the entire right of the vehicle off the ground.
Seeing this moment of excitement the guys all cheered from the spectator positions, however within the milliseconds it takes for such moments of excitement to go horribly wrong I was thinking to myself “Oh shit!” Then David and I were in the water, upside-down with the vehicle on top of us.
It’s quite amazing the clarity of though one has in situations like that. While I was under the muddy water with my hands trapped and no way to breath, I thought to myself “Damn, I didn’t bring a change of clothes.” I hadn’t wanted to get muddy or wet, and here I was completely submerged in muddy water within the first few minutes of our days worth of activities.
Fortunately the guys were quickly on scene and lifting the stricken vehicle so that David and I could get out. After a few tense moments everyone was laughing with the possible exception of the instructor who exclaimed that he had never seen or heard of anyone who had managed to roll an argocat before.
The rest of the day proceeded, albeit somewhat soggily for me, without any further drama. We drove hovercrafts, found out that we would have never been in Robin Hood’s gang after archery, and shot the crap out of Philly while paint-balling in the afternoon.
Such is the tradition of stag parties, we all headed out in the evening for a meal before hitting the bars. I have no idea what the traditions are in other countries and cultures, but in the UK it would seem that the traditional thing to do is get the ‘stag’ more drunk than they have ever been in their entire life. To me this seems like an entirely pointless and almost cruel thing to do, but Philly’s mates from his football team weren’t going to forgo that particular tradition, despite the fact that Philly himself is not a person you will often find drunk. Eventually though, Philly had drunk enough to render himself unable to speak, focus, walk, or function in any way whatsoever.
Thanks to one of the group, Ian, we were able to get Philly home safely, but not before the nights funniest moment. At his house we went through Philly’s pockets to get his key to the front door. However the key, despite looking right, didn’t seem to fit the door. Together Ian and myself tried to force the key into what we assumed must simply be a very stiff lock. Philly was sat on a wall beside the door dribbling and mumbling to himself. Eventually though, even Philly joined the struggle to gain access.
Then Ian said “Is this even the right house?” We shifted our focus from the unagreeable lock to the house number only to see that we were indeed at the wrong house!
In the end Philly sobered up quite quickly. We sat with him for a while chatting and laughing and plying him with plenty of water. Then as the sun began to rise we left. All things considered I think it was a pretty good ‘stag do’, I only hope that Philly can remember enough to have the same opinion.
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[Video] Driving argocats
Pictures from the day and night
Hoverdays
Sapporo Teppanyaki restaurant
Wrote the following comment on Jun 25, 2007 at 12:43 pm
That was hilarious! Sorry you had to spend the day rather sodden, but all in all it sounds like a fantastic day. Too bad about not being able to join Robin Hood though :-)
Wrote the following comment on Jun 25, 2007 at 2:01 pm
another pair of white shoes ruined.
dang.
Wrote the following comment on Jun 25, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Actually Heath I had expected to get my shoes very muddy so I wore an old pair of boots which were thrown away once we got back along with my socks which were just the most disgusting color! :-)
Wrote the following comment on Jun 25, 2007 at 4:19 pm
I’ve always thought Stag or Bachelor’s parties to be rather barbaric. Around here they frequently involve an evening spent at the local strip club (aka Titty Bar) and getting the Groom absolutely stinking drunk. Unfortunately, often all the participants overindulge and don’t keep track of how much the Groom has ingested. It’s rather dangerous, actually.
Wrote the following comment on Jun 25, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Leave it to Simon to do something the instructor says is ‘impossible’. I bet he was even trying! =D
My husband never had a bachelor party… he did enough partying before I came along. ^_~
Wrote the following comment on Jun 25, 2007 at 4:26 pm
I’m with you there Anatomicsd. I wouldn’t thank any of my friends if they got me dangerously drunk on any occasion. As for strip clubs, I’m glad we didn’t end up in one because the price of alcoholic drinks seems to increase exponentially when bare breasts are within site of the bar!
Wrote the following comment on Jun 25, 2007 at 7:57 pm
So i guess they make everyone wear helmets for drivers like you! :) looks like a great time.. so, could you really not breathe under the argocat?
as far as the house goes.. i wonder what was going on on the otherside of the door… they probably didnt hear you, but if they did, i’m sure you gave them a story to tell the next day as well!
Wrote the following comment on Jun 26, 2007 at 4:49 pm
On my stag night it was the same and funnily enough we went to Liverpool as well. My friends that came along decided to play the trick of buying rounds of Vodka shots. We must of had at least 7 or 8 however what they failed to tell me was that they were all drinking water, whereas my was actually vodka! Gits!
Wrote the following comment on Jun 29, 2007 at 10:37 am
Thats a good idea Mark… i must remember that one for future!
From your comments i suspect you must be drinker, as opposed to my occasional summer shandy or glass of wine with a meal!?! As simon mentioned i don’t drink so the outcome was inevitable i guess. But to be fair all the lads were upfront in respect that they said they were going to get me drunk, they just failed to mention how drunk!!!
All the same i really had a great day & night so well done and thanks to you Simon for all your hard work in organising the lads and events, i know it wasn’t easy!
Thanks to all concerned for looking after me once clarity and control of mind and body had well and truely gone.
Thanks again mate!